Posted by: Kaygee | 2008/08/21

Loosing a Mom

Good day , just wanted to find out if its possible for life to move on as normal after loosing your mother, being the only girl at home, pregnant expecting my first baby in less than a month.I cry my self very time I think what my life would be like if my mom was still around.My B/F is there for me but at times I just wish my mom was still around.
Please help....

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Our expert says:
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Having just very recently lost my own mom, a very remarkable and inspiring woman, I can fully understand your grief and your sense of loss. Yes indeed, life can move on, even if right now you don't see the roadmap or find it believable that forward movement can be possible. And the hormones of a first pregnancy probably aren't helping much. DO see a counsellor to work with your grief ( it's hard work, but worthwhile, and will help you to achieve the life, with your child, that your mom would want and be proud of ) ; and maybe see a psychiatrist for advice on managing the depression. As one needs to be very cautious about using meds during pregnancy, and to choose carefully when breast-feeding, discuss tis, and remember that good CBT counselling can be as effective and of course has no such risks

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jacqui | 2008/08/24

Hey Kaygee
It would be so good to be able to speak to other people who are dealing with the loss of their mom. I started visiting this site when my mom was still with us but very ill. I keep coming back because people like you all truly get it, understand what this feels like. I fitted my wedding dress today .... it looked so beautiful and my heart was breaking because my mom would have loved sharing that.
Stay strong sisters ....

Reply to Jacqui
Posted by: Kaygee | 2008/08/22

Thanx a lot guys, I really means a lot to me knowing that am not alone in losing my Mom.Zandi yes you can be my sister.I need one. But all in all my sisters &  doc who replied thank you.
Can we maybe start loosing a Mom Forum where we can share every thing .

Thanx a lot guys : )

Reply to Kaygee
Posted by: Jacqui | 2008/08/21

Hey Carol, I thought it was just me ' not growing up'  but somedays I wish I could just climb onto my mothers lap and howl. I have lost people before, but losing my mom ...... feels like nothing I have experienced before. It' s especially difficult not having anyone to talk to about it. All of the writers above .... don' t you want to go out and tell everyone who still has a mother to make the most of every day? That mother' s day is special and important because it may be the last one, that a phone call or sms is appreciated. All I know is that her death left a gap I know no one will be able to fill. So, we learn to live around it.

Reply to Jacqui
Posted by: Carol | 2008/08/21

I lost my mom nearly 15 years ago it still hurts . im 46 now and I still need her.

I dont think we ever really get over it ... we learn to live with it is all.

Im thinking of you . ****hugs***

Reply to Carol
Posted by: jacqui | 2008/08/21

I am 40, and I lost my mom in May. It has been devastating and heartbreaking. I am getting married soon and more than anything in the world, I wish she was here. Talk talk talk. It' s the only way.

you are in my thoughts

Reply to jacqui
Posted by: Zandi | 2008/08/21

Kaygee........can I be ur sister pls?I also lost my mom in 2001,but the pain is still fresh whenever I think abt it.I got married early this year,I cried very much just wondering how happy she would be that day....but she is gone,and never coming back,ever...swop...swop...swop!!

Reply to Zandi
Posted by: Living it | 2008/08/21

if you need to talk send me you email addy and we can walk this journey together

Reply to Living it
Posted by: Living it | 2008/08/21

ITS VERY PAINFUL. But you are lucky, you have a little one on the way, that alone is a blessing. Grieve for your mom but also focus on the bundle of joy thats on the way, whenever you can always tell your kids about their beautiful and loving grandma. and we can walk this journey together.

Reply to Living it
Posted by: Living it | 2008/08/21

(Sorry,had to spearte the post bcos of lenght). I loved her, she was everything to me and no one thought I would survive it, I didn' t either but suprisingly I' m still here. Its very hard, believe it or not I cry for her everyday, I talk to her, I ask her why she had to leave, I carry a picture of her and my dad in my handbag everyday, always have, I keep one her scarfs and I wear it whenever I need to feel her close to me, I even sleep in her night gown and I visit her grave every chance I get and place fresh flowers every single time I go there. I have come to accept that the pain will never go away but I have live and deal with it everyday.

Reply to Living it
Posted by: Living it | 2008/08/21

Life will not move on as normal, in fact it will never be the same. You will never ever get over the pain of loosing her but at some point you will get to a stage where you will learn to live with the pain everyday. Being the only girl in the family, naturally you will feel the burden of being the mother figure for your siblings but don' t try and be super woman. Grieve for her, cry for her everyday if you have to. Talk to her, tell her how you feel just like you used to when she was around. When you miss her, put on one her scarfs or something she used to wear. She is still a part of you more than you realise. The bonds of love that bind us in this life continue to do even beyond the grave. I know this for sure because less than two years ago I lost my dad and while I was grieving his death my mother followed

Reply to Living it

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