Posted by: Anon for this | 2008/11/10

Looking for answers

Hi Doctor, I don' t know if this is the right forum to post my question because its a general thing. See when my mum was pregnant with me,my real father who was just her boyfriend at the time ran away from his responsibilities &  left her when he found out she was pregnant. So she got married &  my step dad is an OK person but at times that side of him comes out that pushes me away because im not his. Growing up my mum made me hate my real dad but now that im at the age where im not a teenager or a little girl anymore, i want to find him. I dont want to cause any pain for any1 i just wanna know who my real dad is &  what he looks like. I am half of him &  i would really like to get more info on him &  meet him. My bf is willing to help me contact him but i dont know how to start because my mum never talks about him or gives me any hope of knowing him.

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Our expert says:
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Amg raises some realistic points. Presumably the first issue will be --- who knows his identiy and enough details to be able to find him ? If it's only yourt mum, and she won't tell you, then I wonder what else you can do. IS there a name for father on your birth certificate ? If there's anyone else who knows his identity, talk to them.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon for this | 2008/11/10

I' m not looking for anything special because what he did to me was wrong &  23 years he never bothers to meet me but im not doing it to look for love or money or whatever i just wanna know him &  see him. MY mother was never an easy person, she makes things hard for us as a family so i cant blame him until i know the truth. I don' t know if he wanted to see me but my mother didn' t wana allow him or i don' t know if he didn' t care but i just wanna meet him. Its different if you knew ur dad or had contact with him &  he passed away but imagine your life passing not knowing what he even looks like

Reply to Anon for this
Posted by: Ang | 2008/11/10

I was in the same boat.

I found my Dad, things were great for awhile and then all my mom told me about him came true and I wished I had never looked for him.

Prepare yourself for the worst and hope for the best.

Maybe he has changed or wasn' t what you mom thought he was and you will be able to have a long lasting relationship with him.

Hope it works out for you.

Reply to Ang

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