Posted by: Jupiter | 2008/05/22

Long (lasting) relationships

How many of you are in the same boat as I am? We have met in school, dated for 10 years and are happily married today.
It must be said, most people did not give us a change. So I could say, against all odds, we are still happy and in love!
This sort of relationship has got different challenges than most other - Arguable? My question is, what should I be looking out for? How to keep things going?
She is really really the love of my live, and I want to keep things interesting.

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Our expert says:
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After the long, long, lineup hear of unhappy marriages and affairs, how refreshing to hear from a happy marriage ! Congratulations. It'll be interesting to see what other people think are tips for keeping things going well. I'd think primary among those would be to listen carefully and caringly to each other, so as to be able to adapt to changing needs and concerns

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Our users say:
Posted by: Happily ever after | 2008/05/23

Aah at last - something I can relate to .... I also met my husband while we where still at school (he was literally the boy next door as well)

That was 29 years ago (2 children later) and this year we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary ... and I must say he still makes my knees weak!

I know what you mean when saying that there are different challenges - is he/she still happy with you/are they not getting bored/is the spark still there etc. I can only tell you what I do - I think for a man it's important to feel loved, attractive, wanted, successful and for a women I think it's to know that you're not going to leave her and that SHE is still the one after all these years and that you STILL see everything she does for you and how she makes you feel.

Not sure if you do this already, but I love sending unexpected sms's to my hb - either telling him what he means to me, that I miss him, that I can't wait to see him etc and of course the "I want you now" messages LOL - Also if you can keep being unpredictable, that could really make a difference because you don't want your wife to know your every next move ....
And when you're together - give her your UNDIVIDED attention but also give her her space if she needs it.

Things to looking out for ... I don't really know

To keep things interesting ... don't think I can elaborate on this here .... LOL all I can say is it keeps getting better, I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband that knows all my buttons ....

Hope you cherish her and make her feel special every day, there is nothing like still being in love after all these years ...

Reply to Happily ever after
Posted by: MK | 2008/05/23

I was in a 15 year marriage which ended suddenly and unexpectedly. Ours was a holiday romance which turned into a long distance relationship and we decided to get married after knowing each other only 6 months! My advice would be that at the first signs of trouble (if you can see the signs, that is) go for counselling before the problems fester so that they are irrepairable. Obviously I am not talking the "I hate the way you squeeze the toothpaste tube" kind of trouble here, though!

Reply to MK
Posted by: Nto | 2008/05/22

i am in the same boat, we dated for 8 years and we've almost been happily married for almost 5 years this year. We respect and love each other, we allow each other space, we are honest in everyway and we communicate alot. But the respect&love we have for each other keeps us going. I met my hubby when i was 15 and he was 23, since then we've never broke up and we have two kids. We still love each other to death. Also we do alot of things as a family.

Congratulations on being happy, as it does'nt happen often. Keep each other close to your hearts always and be as honest, loving,committed as possible.

All the best

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