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Question
Posted by: Sexy L | 2004/01/06

Lonely Heart

I am currently dating a guy whom according me he is swimming in a pool of confusion. We have been dating for 6 months now. My fear is he always disappear and reappear. During the week he comes and he is the best boyfriend ever but come weekend he is nowhere to be found and his phone is always off then he would come up with stories that I made him angry.
He does everything for me, he takes care of my needs, but he is also scarring me that if ever I dumb him he will kill me because he can not do without me. I love him very much. My other problem is he is never interested in sex so I found myself a sex partner, we are using protection. In my thought i used to think he is getting it somewhere so why cant I do the same. Am I being bitchy

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear SL,
Fankly, any relationship in which you feel scared of your partner, or fear violence from him or her, is a bad elationship. Love is great, but any relationship in which one insists that they "cannot live without X", is also a risky one.
here is something strange in the pattern you describe, of a guy who's available during the week, but disappears at the weekends, making various lame excuses for this ---it sounds as if he's up to something on those weekends which he doesn't want you to know about. And if he is close to you with no interest in sex, one would indeed wonder whether his sexual interests are being satisfied somewhere else, by someone else.
But it hardly deals with the real problem at hand, for you to start up a sexual relationship with someone else, and to consider it justifiable. Two relationships a the same time is never a ood idea. Don't you need to sit down, perhaps with some friend or family member around to keep things cool, and talk this through properly with your bf, so you can each understand what's going on ? So ar, it just sounds like a bunch of people all exploiting each other. As tina Turner sang, "What's Love got to do with it ? "

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Our users say:
Posted by: EVE | 2004/01/07

sexy l to tell you the truth i think you should stop both relationships you only put yourself up for the heartache your boyf who dissapears on weekends without a doubt definitely has another girl. leave him and leave your other friend alone to go his way with his girlfriend i dont know how you had the guts to sleepp with him when he has a girlfriend, dont you think maybe this is why you arent getting decent guys? remember the saying do unto others as you would like them to do unto you? think about it.... good luck

Reply to EVE
Posted by: Sexy L | 2004/01/07

I got ur replies guys but I love this guy whole heartedly. As the shrink suggested that I talk with a friend which I did, they all tell me I'm in denial and to catch a wake up get real this guy has a mistress somewhere whom he preferres to sleep with. He used to do nice things pick me up from work, calling me during the nite to tell me he loves me and I also dont want to lose him. If there is a professinal I can see about this problem please give the details.
My other problem is I've nevr had lasting relationships all men treated me the same. When I met this guy I thought he was the perfect guy but now I'm lost. This other guy I'm sleeping we had an arrangement as he also has a girlfriend when I feel lonely I phone him eventhough there r times he turns me down to be with the girlfriend.

Reply to Sexy L
Posted by: raptor | 2004/01/06

well said Dampies

Reply to raptor
Posted by: Dampies | 2004/01/06

You are all swimming in a pool of confusion. I am also confused. You are dating a guy during the week, but sleeping with a bonking buddy on weekends? Sounds like a soap opera to me. Why dont you all just sit down over a few drinks and decide who wants what from who and take it from there? Nowhere in this whole saga you described is there a single drop of love to be found, only deceit and manipulation.

Reply to Dampies

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