Posted by: Mpho | 2008/10/23


I have a good career, a lovely 9 year old baby, a body to die for, a place of my own, a nice BMW318 I believe I am beautiful,
I got classes at Damelin every Saturday I go to gym,church,a girls night out sometimes.
Attend lots of workshops related to my position.
I’ ve tried internet dating but still no luck
My friends tried to hook me up but still nothing.
The last time I had s..ex was last year in September with someone I thought loves me and he just disappeared without saying good bye
But I can’ t find a man I am a lonely 34 year old lady

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Our users say:
Posted by: apples | 2008/10/30

I' m 39. divorced, 3 kids, yet I only attracted men 10 years or more younger than me, who have nothing to offer me in terms of intellegent communication, I still look very young for my age with even my sons aquaintances making passes at me.
I am financially comfortable, with own home etc,
Anyone I meet either wants to share the benifits of my hard work, or is intimidated by my independance.
I am very strong but when I meet a guy I have to pretend to be somewhat stupid if I want to keep him,
While I would like a companion to grow old with, I quite settled into my lonely life and have more time with my kids
I' m glad I' ve got lots of company, maybe we should start a singles group

Reply to apples
Posted by: Big girlo | 2008/10/23

It does work. It' s like when you don' t have money and broke, no one wants to give you money. But when you' re monied, no probs infriends giving you money.

you know that feeling of ukungancengi indoda, though you don' t have one. If i' d used this tact long back, I could have been married by now. It' s a nice feeling to tell a man" no, you' re not what I want from a man" .

Reply to Big girlo
Posted by: Vegan | 2008/10/23

Lol,' s that for support. Big Girlo, well said! I love the way you' re doing things. Works like a charm, doesn' t it?

Reply to Vegan
Posted by: Mpho | 2008/10/23

I thought I was the only one thank you so much ladies.

Reply to Mpho
Posted by: Mwila | 2008/10/23

I' m 27, single and no kids. There was a time when I was hot and happening, and then I wasn' t interested. Suddenly I feel I' m ready to settle down and be steady, but no.........ain' t meeting anyone. I' ve been also wondering what happened to my days and I guess I' ve been trying too hard to meet someone.

From now on I' m taking a vow to chill and just enjoy being with myself. I' m going to focus on my career and make myself happy, stop hoping and looking for a man to love me. Thanks ladies.

Reply to Mwila
Posted by: Mindful | 2008/10/23

Perhaps you' re looking to hard?

A year ago, I felt exactly the same way as you did. I didn' t think I was ever going to meet anyone.

I got to a point in my life where I actually enjoyed being single, and at that moment, when I wasn' t looking, I met someone fabulous.

Good luck, it will happen, just on it' s own time.

(I used to get so mad at people when they said this to me)

Reply to Mindful
Posted by: Big girlo | 2008/10/23

Hi Mpho...

I can easily relate to what you' re going through. I' m 38, beautiful and all.

The mistake i made was to be looking for someone. And you know what happens! when you' re looking for someone, noma ungenzani, if it' s not that time or he' s not around yet, he' ll never come or he' ll come to pass. It' s like a mn can see that you' re looking for someone and we ge tend to want to commit to the relationsghip quickly. Now men arre scared of woman that want to be attended, it' s natural with us woman that we want attention.

This is what i did..I asked myself, there was time when i was in demand, men would have loved to date me. What happened to those days or the me that was so loveble. I had a good introspection and wallaaaa! i had the answer.

I' m no longer looking for a men, have change focus on my career. Changed friends. Beautiful as ever. It' s like that aura of " she' s looking for a man"  is gone. Guys are so into me, it' s so nice. But here' s the game plan. I don' t call you if you don' t call me, you don' t come to my place if i' ve never been to yours, I' d spend a day at home just watching tv. If I don' t feel like talking to you, i don' t answer my phone though i' ve got an appointment for dinner with him. And do you know what, men are like animals, they don' t want to be hunted they want to be hunters. This other male friend of mine said he thinks I' ll never commit to anyone coz I' m so comfortable with my self and space.
Though sometimes i get lonely, but i' ve opted not to let loneliness force me to take anyone that comes along.

I just got an sms from this other one, it reads " what can I do to make our communication good" . He' s so interested in me, I guess I am as well but I' m not going to let him have it easily.

I' ve gone back to my days when I was 23, being hunted not hunted.

Reply to Big girlo
Posted by: Woman | 2008/10/23


I am 41yrs old, child-free by choice and never married. I can relate to your sitiuation. Being all of that is not so easy in this baby &  married world. All of my friends are married and I can no longer relate to them as we have different lifestyles and different interests. I made peace with my mind to find like-minded ladies. Keep in touch.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Ben | 2008/10/23

Mpho, There' s a friend of mine who' s also single, and has a good heart i' d love to hook you up with him.

Reply to Ben
Posted by: Alisa | 2008/10/23

hi Mpho

I am 39 and in the same boat! my life seems successful in other ways, and i yearn to have a baby (been 10 years now), so count yourself lucky you have a child already.
it' s very tricky finding the right one.. keep doing new things, i' ve found that is the way i' ve met new people. no one special yet.. but hte more networking one does, it' s bound to happen.
try a different church or perhaps speed-dating..
good luck

Reply to Alisa
Posted by: Vicky | 2008/10/23

Can you give ne your' s I will email you

Reply to Vicky
Posted by: Vicky | 2008/10/23

Hi Mpho, where are you based, I share the same centiments. Female age 32, i tried to look for a man but no luck. I am in PTA. We can chat and get together to give each other some girlfriends encouragement. Do u have an email adee

Reply to Vicky

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