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Posted by: lonesome | 2006/03/30

lonely

CS- im an attractive 37 year old woman, never been married, i work and go home into a small room which i rent. The old lady i live with drives me mad, as i get no privacy. i dont have a car, to go to a gym, i catch taxis on wkends to do my shopping and most of my friends dont exactly wana hang out with a single dolly either...they're all married...

i do have a sister whom im not close with, she is married and well off, but shes never once called me to see if im okay, do i need food etc. not that i want any, its jus the principle...

its so lonely out there, especially if most of my friends are all married, im not sure what to do... and i cant stand wkends as im mostly on my own or the old bat i live with never stops talking... i dont get any privacy there...

im only temping at the moment, i dont have a permanent job, as most positions are Affirmative action... so i dont even have a stable job...

what can i do to make my life more exciting, how do i meet friends at my age that arent married with kids.. im not into clubbing or pubbing, im just very lonely and no real family to turn to... cousins are jus trouble and compare all the time... so i keep away...i keep alot to myself...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I can really understand what you're saying, lonesome. I think many of us have had experiences like this, at least at times during our lives. Have you thought of using some of your time to get involved in charitable / NGOP work ? that way, you get something useful to do, meet people who are generally nice and not themselves tied up in the social whirl, and you gai useful work experience. Explore developing hobbies, taking classes, activities which are both satisfying in themselves, and also enable you to meet nice people

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Lime | 2006/03/31

I can relate to what you are going through. When I was young my mother never wanted us to go play or be with other kids. She never encouraged friends over from school sleeping over. We were never allowed to visit, go camping or do anything that required us leaving the house except church and going back to girls boarding school.
This destroyed my confidence, spirit and the need to be around people.

Now when am 32 I still keep to myself, it is very difficult for me to go out and meet new people. I am shy and insecure. Sometimes when people at work say I look lovely or am beautiful I think they are just making a joke.

Lately what I find working for me, is to socialize with people that I work with. After work on Fridays I go with them for coffee or pizza. I now get invited to their homes. I am not always keen to go but I lecture myself all the time to go out and I force myself to remain calm and socialize.

It is not easy but baby steps, not everyone at work have a child you be surprised how many single people are out there, just try.

Sometimes it is ok to have your own life away from family if they are making you uncomfortable. See them when necessary and remain polite.


It also helps to tell people that you would like to be hooked up with someone. You will soon be going on dates, but this does not guarantee that you will like any of those people you go on dates with but at least your life will be more entertaining

Good luck..

Reply to Lime
Posted by: Friendly | 2006/03/31

Whats you e-mjail address maybe we can make friends as I also need some.

Reply to Friendly
Posted by: PIPER | 2006/03/30

DEAR LONELY

the world can be a very scary place. believe me i speak 4rm experience. but thats no reason to shut it out.

it sounds to me like the world is not turning away 4rm u .
u r turning away 4rm the world.
take a chance - if u don't like clubs, den go 2 a cafe , or a jazz bar - something small where u can just mingle wit people.

take a risk - call ur sister ask her out to lunch -u might be surprized how less lonely the world can be.

BE BRAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to PIPER

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