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Question
Posted by: NM | 2004/10/21

Lonely

Hi,

I am 27 years old and do not have 1 single "girl"friend and it's really starting to get to me. I do have 2 or 3 friends (guys) I spend time with but it's not the same. People always say that you must just go out and have fun and you will meet people but let me tell you...it's not so easy! Most people my age already has their circle of friends - which makes it more difficult... Please help...I also want a friend I can confide in, share all my dreams and hopes with - I hate feeling so lonely!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Actually, NM, only an idiot would tell you it's easy. When it has worked out, looking back, maybe it seems as if it was easy. One builds a circle of friends in various ways --- at school / college / university ; at work, through church, sports, hobies, and so on. At least that way one is more likely to meet people with some similar interests.
I also find it often helps is one chooses to spend some of one's time getting involved in charity / NGO work --- you tend to meet rather nice people in such work, you're reminded that though things are unpleasant for you, they're even worse for others, and you're doing some good, at the same time. You sound like a very nice person, but maybe rather shy at this stage, and so reluctant to take the chance of trying to get to know people. Relax, about it, as if any particular encounter doesn't quite work out, you're no worse off than if you hadn't tried --- in fact better off, as you'd be a we bit more experienced and confident the next time.
Anyone else have suggestions here, based on your own experience ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Amy | 2004/10/21

My mom always tells me to be carefull where I hang out because the place you meet a person, tells allot about the type of person they are. I know it is hard to wait and it is even harder when all your friends get maried and have children and you can't even go on a date. Just hang in there your day will come.

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