Posted by: Doopie!! | 2008/11/26

Lobola man back after several months...

Ex came back after about 9months. We seperatred because he had an affair with a lady preferred by his mom. Asked him to leave as we were staying in my flat. About a year later I bought a town house.
Upon his return he told me that he is sorry for the treatment I got and has decided to settle with me. We had been customarily married and we agreed that when the time is right we' ll make it civil. At that time I was already expecting our third child. His mother wanted nothing to do with me and would never even say hello when I greeted her. As a result I told him that our relationship is very frustrating for me. He made a vow to sort it out I gave him the latitude as I believed he has his own way of sorting his mother. We made the marriage civil immediately after our daughter was born.
At the moment, we are still staying in my town house. He has mentioned getting us a house and a car but no move seems to be taking place towards achieving this. He no longer helps me financially as he did when he moved in. Awith the 3rd child around, I no longer manage with my own salary. He is self employed and makes good money in his business. He now only buys clothes and spends his money on " ladies"  and his mom. He only pays the children' s school fees and refuses to even buy napkins for the new bay.
He is a lawyer and has told me that if he cant get happiness in the house , he' ll get it somewhere else. Furthermore, he has told me that I' ll be divorced like others. As a result I strongly suspect he has an affair. He gets calls and answers them - which I do not have much of a concern with. However, this evening he got one call and the person asked where he was. He told the individual that he' s at home and the person wanted to know if he was at his mom' s, he responded by saying he' s at the other place.
Is there anything I can do to get this man to maintain his kids and pay for the house he stays in? I have considered going to the maintenance court, but would like some advice in this matter. Can He can hardly pour petrol for me and I also transport the kids to and from school. I' ve mentioned the issue to his parents but they told me frankly that they are not interested.
Please advice.

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Our expert says:
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His mother doesn't like you, but is content that he has 3 children by you and lives in YOUR house ? He sponges off you and is mean with spending for the house ? He's concerned about HIS happiness, but doesn't consider yours ? Surely oyu need a legal opinion to be sure you understand your legal rights, and how to enforce them. He's a jerk, but jerks must be made to pay their debts

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Our users say:
Posted by: Spooky | 2008/11/27

You fully entitled to Maintenance adequate payment. This bully should be given some of his own medicine. He is not above the law. Get a good lawyer. Be strong &  get tough on him. Good luck.

Reply to Spooky
Posted by: Doopie!! | 2008/11/27

Thanks a lot for all your reponses.

I need a powerful lawyer in Pretoria/Jo' burg.

Reply to Doopie!!
Posted by: Been There | 2008/11/27

HI Sisi,
I also just found out that my baby' s father is cheating. I' m just waiting for the perfect timing to confront him and he will be dumped, by that I mean for good. The problem is that we dump these idiots and then welcome them back with open arms after a while.
I pray that you get the courage to move on with your life or else you will spend the rest of your life wondering who he' s with, where and how, and this can be me. In my case, his mom is fond of me but doesnt know what her son is getting up to. I do however know those kind of inlaws who prefer other women. I dont think there' s anything wrong with this cause you cant make someone love you but the situation can only work if your hubby listens to you and doesnt take any advice from his family...My aunt used to be hated by her MIL but her husband refused to be embroiled in the fiasco...16 years later the MIL has declared how she thinks she is the only daughter in law whom she can rely on for everything and apparently now hates the daughters in law who were once her favourites. Just kneel and pray!!! Wishing you luck!

Reply to Been There
Posted by: tumi | 2008/11/27

this guy is an idiot that for sure. One thing i dont get is everyone nos that once a cheate allways a cheat.

Reply to tumi
Posted by: lolo | 2008/11/27

what a jerk, i dont even know what to say, his a fool.. nxeee

Reply to lolo

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