advertisement
Question
Posted by: Lucy | 2006/10/30

Living with others

I have moved in with my friend and her family as I have no where else to go. I do not mind staying there, but I sometimes sence that me and my daughter (7yrs) are not that welcome in there home, so I mostly avoid any conflict that may arise and stay in my room all day (and demanding my daughter to stay as well).

I am mostly quiet and keep myself busy reading as I love books & mags, but my daughter on the other hand is active and does not want to sit in the room every day.

How do I make our stay pleasant, as this is not short term? I do not have the finances to get a place of my own and willingly pay them what they set out as lodging, ect.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Isn't your daughter going to school ? And if you are paying for lodging, you should feel more free to feel at home and look after your daughter as you would anywhere. have you discussed this calmly with them, your hosts ? Surely they don't expect your daughter to sit quietly in the room all day ? Sounds also as if you really need to discuss all this in detail with your shrink.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

7
Our users say:
Posted by: kat | 2006/10/30

any time, just hope it helped.

Reply to kat
Posted by: Lucy | 2006/10/30

Tx Kat

Reply to Lucy
Posted by: kat | 2006/10/30

ok they invited you in there home so stop worrieng about that. get yourself focused and get moving on a plan to get out onto your own. get out of debt and see from there. stop isolating yourself that will just make you feel worse. also just remember this is a lesson you have to learn how to accept help from others just say thank you. you feel in the way coz you are so independant but now is the time to relax and focus on staying independant so that you dont end up in this boat again. they wouldnt have offerend if it was a problem.

Reply to kat
Posted by: Lucy | 2006/10/30

My friend has gone with me to one of my consultations. I am seeing a "shrink" and am taking medication. She gave me advise and I took it, she has always been there and I strongly believe in her. I know that I battle with accepting myself.

I have stayed with them previously, but without my daughter. I have been so independant for most of my life and all of a sudden I have to adhere to rules of others. I tried living with my parents, but after my step father beaten me I took my firend up on her offer. Believing that this is the best choice for me & my daughter.

How does one interact with other people without feeling that you are a "burden" and how does a person know if they are really sincere?

Reply to Lucy
Posted by: kat | 2006/10/30

i think it would be advisable for you to seek counseling to empower you to comunicate again and that way you will feel better. i get the feeling that you have omeout of a bad relationship and now feel that you are just in the way like you were in your relationship. and how could it be possible for these people to invite you into there home. well they have you pay your way so you dont have to feel unwelcome also they new you had a daughter befor they offered for you to stay there so they know what comes with having kids. i think counseling would be a great help to you and you should set yourself goals on when you would like to have your own place. it will give you something to work towards even if it is only in 1 yrs time. at least you will feel better having a plane.

Reply to kat
Posted by: Lucy | 2006/10/30

I am a very quiet person and avaid any conflict at all times. There's a dishwasher that I pack and unpack whenever, also a full time maid that I contibute to, wash my bath and shower ect. I am very neat and do leave things laying around and they have a 2 year old so im always trying to keep everything as save as possible.

I just think that it's not right to keep my daughter in a room all day, kids have to be kids, and while they are kids have fun and play.

I have "lost" my ability to communicate and rather keep quiet. I know for a fact when I get home 2nite, I will be in my room till 8, shower - back to my square and sleep.

Reply to Lucy
Posted by: kat | 2006/10/30

maybe nthey feel that you are staying out of there way coz you dont want to be there maybe they are finding that rude you need to find a happy medium in staying in your room and interacting with them. remember they have invited you into there home so im sure they would also like to see a bit of you. why not talk to them and try see what the expectations are on you in terms of living there. also make sure you not only pay them but help with the dishes and that stuff that always becomes an issue. it doesnt have to be a problem

Reply to kat

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement