Our expert says:
the boy may not want to speak to him, feling that his dad has abandoned him as apparently his mom already has. Maybe the dad needs to work where he does to be able to support the boy well, but that's hardly something a 5 year-old easily understands. Apparently his real mother may have ben very distant and uncaring when around, and may have left him early enough for him not to remember her, certainly not to remember her with fondness.
The drawings and games may understandably be ways of expressing the anger he feels - however good his grandparents, he probably feels abandoned and rejected by his mother ( correctly ) and his father. But he's basically acting like a rather normal little boy, as that species can be blood-thirsty in games and images to a degree many adults feel squeamish about. And modern TV, comics and movies tend to feature dramatic monsters, and constant, meaningless conflict.
If you folks really worry that its more than this, he'd need to be assessed by a child psychologist, depending on where one might be available.
Its unpredictable, but kids are often more resilient than we expect, and can cope well, though the sense of separation and of losing people which you describe so touchingly, can be harder to handle.
In World War 2, the British were so sure kids would be terribly damaged by witnessing the Nazi bombing of their home cities, that they were evacuated en masse, either to English countryside, or even as far away as Canada. Later studies comparing kids who were evacuated with those who had remained at home with their loved families, found that those who stayed home, despite falling bombs, explosions and destruction, were more calm and well than those who had been separated from those they loved, even if staying with kind families in peaceful settings.
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