Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Anon, a very warm welcome to the forum and thanks for this post. You sound quite desperate at the moment and I think you'd benefit from talking this very complex situation through with an objective counsellor. I seriously encourage you to call the Gay & Lesbian Helpline, a service offered by Triangle Project, any day between 1pm and 9pm - leave a name and number and the counsellor on duty will call you back. You won't have to pay for the cost of the telephonic counselling session, no matter how long that is. The number is 021 4 222 500. Allow the counsellor an opportunity to explore various solutions to your predicament with you.
I seriously urge you to make the call.
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