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Question
Posted by: ZEB | 2004/10/19

LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!!

hi everyone,i have just messed up my whole life.i broke up with my g/f of nine mths april this year, and suddendly one of my friends that i use to school with got hold of my number and we started to be intouch,one thing let to another we slept together few times,i really dont have feelings for her,but now it looks like she is pregnant,she looks so obssesive over me even mention that AS LONG AS she can have my child even if i leave her she wont worry,i was traped but i did'nt realise,now my whole life is like a mess. please SHAUN HELP!!!!

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Our expert says:
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Zeb, your story sounds very little to do with life being unfair, and mostly to do with you being careless and thoughtless. You are quite old enough to know how babies are made, and to be able to avoid that happening.
And otherwise I agree with Kay and Shaun here

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/20

Hey Zeb,

Do you really think you need my opinion here??? You said it yourself Zeb, women like her are hard to find!!! Take it from there...

Zeb, would you not think that maybe you can communicate with her more about how/what you feel? You could be on the re-bound as you say, but taking advantage of another coz you were hurting is not fair. I do find that opposites do attract. How would it have been if you were both very outgoing??? Do you not think that maybe then you guys may not have had time for each other.

Please Zeb, don't guide your decisions by my suggestions. Make your own choice then stick by it, but it must be your choice Zeb!!!

I think maybe stop for a while & try see the situation from both perspectives, it may help you see things in a differrent light.

But please do take the test, it'll be an experience for both of you.

Good luck Zeb,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: ZEB | 2004/10/20

THANX Shaun,i appreciate u r advise like i said maybe i was on rebound after breaking up with my g/f.i always wished and prayed that one day when i have a child with somebody,it will be with the woman that i really love,but funny enough those that i fell in love with hurt me so badly that i nearly lost my own self,may be i must learn how to love again,it's true love takes time to heal,maybe her love is too smoothering,dont get me wrong,she love me more than herself and she is very possesive person,but very respecting though. she is very understanding and religious person. and i;m very open and social person that make friends very easely.she have also not given me any reason to doubt her,i dont want to leave her then regret it,woman like her are hard to find.i'm so confused,i dont know why do i feel the way i feel or will things get better with time? SHAUN PLEASE I NEED YOUR OPINION ONCE MORE!

Reply to ZEB
Posted by: zola | 2004/10/20

the is always an option for her going for abortion

Reply to zola
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/20

Hi Zeb,

I really do agree with Kay here. It may have been nice while you were doing it, but I guess now you are forced to be responsible about not taking precautions.
You say it "looks" like she maybe pregnant, so why have you not made sure about that yet? You know, those pregnancy tests from the chemist are quite cheap, so get 1 today, & have her take the test. At the same time pray that it does not come out positive, & if it doesn't then I would very strongly advise you immediately condomise. This should be a good reminder that you don't forget in future. Besides, it also helps with all the STDs floating around.
If she tests positive then I would suggest you be the man & take responsibility.

I must say though, from your posting, she sounds like a kewl person that may be very deeply in love with you, & it does sound like you may have used her, but now feel trapped.

I'm not accusing you Zeb, I'm just saying it works both ways. I don't think you were trapped Zeb, because she did tell you that she would like your child.

You are not trapped, there are always choices you can make. I do hope you make the effort to have the test done, follow the instructions carefully. After this, & when you are sure, then discuss it between your'll. I do hope you take the right decision...

Good luck Zeb,
Cheers,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Kay | 2004/10/19

No - you werent "trapped" - thats a convenient excuse some men like to use. You had sex and with that you took the risk of pregnancy - now its happened and you need to face the consequences. You dont have to have a relationship with this women if you dont want to but you also cannot abandon your child (if its yours).

Reply to Kay

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