Our expert says:
You seem to be descibin rather autonomous mood swings ( i.e. not obviously caused by external events ), and thus probably of largely chemical origin. And negative mood prods one towards remembering selectively only the miseable parts of one's life, and only the most miserable interpretations of them. Obviously you don't LIKE feeling miserable, but it can become a bad habit, which one can learn to stop.
Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, again, would help you to unlearn these bad habits. Your husband left you --- that's sad, but not your fault. Yet you have not left him, and carry the large lump of regret over that failed relationship around with you, so that it gets in the way of everything else you might do.
DO see a good, CBT-oriented psych --- you don't have to do this all on your own, but the intervention of the right expert can help you personally o achieve what is necessary. Sounds like wou are probably also depressed. But treat this both with CBT from the same therapist, and perhaps proper antidepressant meds. Espiride tends to be prescribed only by docs who know little about psychiatriy. Depression is not usually about not havin what you need, so much as being about unable to enjoy what you have.
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