Our expert says:
Even when we have had a very close and emotionally intimate relationship with someone, it is hard to understand why they do what they do. Let's admit it, it's often difficult to understand why WE ourselves do what we do.
And when someone who has been close to us, leaves ; we may assume that it must be because of something we did ( of course that's possible ) but it may well be because of problems and issues within them, and not necessarily about you (though it hurts just as much ).
Her complaint about trust is a bit odd. Just as you say, correctly, that we can't force someone else to love us ; so we can't force them to trust us. Indeed, if someone does make such a demand it automatically makes it harder to trust them, as you wonder why this suddenly became so important to them.
If she were content to meet with you, perhaps in couples counselling, to explore the issues between you, this might be fruitful, but this appears not to be what she wants.
For you to have some sessions of personal counselling might help to sort this out, to enhance your understanding of the relationship and its end, and to help you draw more useful conclusions to guide your progress through the next phase of your life.
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