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Question
Posted by: JIM CARREY | 2004/01/18

LIAR LIAR

Dear Cybershrink!

I have this problem o telling lies. I am not ashamed of saying this. I don't know what's wrong with me. I am a successful guy with a sucessful career, but my lies are just getting the worst of me. Maybe I am too scared to get rejected. I hate being rejected.

Am I crazy? Where do I start?
Please help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, Jim, I haven't seen your movie yet. But it isn't crazy, just foolish, to keep telling lies. What we call a Pathological Liar is someone who tells lies frequently, even where there's no imaginable reason to expect to benefit from doing so. It can be helped, if the liar is prepared to work hard with a shrink ( and tell the truth to the shrink ) --- lying to a shrink, or to any doctor, only the liar is damaged. Often part of the problem, at least, lies in the sort of low self-esteem you suggest, in feeling that the real you ( probably likeable ) isn't good enough, and needs to be embellished with tinsel. And of course you're far more likely to be rejected for being a phony than for ever just being the real you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Zeena | 2004/01/18

Just be yourself. You are probably fooling yourself when you think people believe in your lies, or will like you better. People are awfully perceptive and might even be whispering about your lying.

Look -- there is nothing as pleasant or refreshing as a "normal" person -- someone just being himself/herself, nor putting on airs or style or telling lies to seem more interesting.

You wrote this letter because it bothers you a lot. So the answer is ... don't apologise, don't explain, just STOP doing it. Your life will sort itself out. You seem to have a problem with self-esteem -- don't we all!! -- and think telling a few fascinating lies will help. It doesn't.

If you find you can't -- find a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist so you can talk through this problem.

Reply to Zeena

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