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Question
Posted by: Pushover | 2004/02/17

Let people walk all over me

Are there people who let other people walk all over them? I have had this happen all my life but it has been happening a lot lately. One typical example: I was a treasurer for this club. This one member complained that her "account" was wrong. Actually accused me of fraud! Had the matter sorted out by a third person, turns out she was wrong but never apologised to me for her mistake.

Had a similar incident again yesterday where someone spoke to me like I am a piece of dirt ad I just kept quite and suffered in silence. It actuall dawned on me that I let people do this to me beacuse my husband also treats me/talks to me like I always piss him off and I always keep quite for the sake of peace.

Is there something wong with me or what?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Pushover,
No, nothing at all wrong with you. many of us find ourselves in similar situations. Kassandra's remarks are wise and helpful. Psychologists in counselling can offer good advice and training in Assertiveness, and in helping one understand and experience the difference between being assertive ( standing up for oneself when this is appropriate ) and being aggressive ( being pushy, even if, maybe especially if, one is actually in the wrong --- like your unapprciative club menber !).

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kasandra | 2004/02/17

dear Pushover

first there is nothing wrong with you you will be amazed in how many people act like you i was one of them i could not be assertive to save my life i always thought its rude to stand up for what I WANT i was also raised in a dominating house hold were standing up for yourself was a problem *dominated father* and emotionaly you could not stand up for yourself
its hard yes but people walk over you cause you let them,
start with something small and then try that for a week and then work from there, there is a difference in being assertive and rude aswell, remember you have a right to stand up for your feelings and what you want.

as for your husband communication is the key to a good healthy relationship next time tell him that you dont like it when he does this or that......

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