Our expert says:
A guy dedicated to his work is a mixed blessing in a relationship. But when he is also unavailable in his spare time, and planning holidays on his own, one must wonder whether this is really a relationship ( from his point of view ) at all. He should speak to a good lawyer about his fears --- the mother of his children is NOT allowed by law to restrict his access to his children, just to be spiteful --- the court is required to consider what is best for the children, not what a spiteful spouse might want.
But if he feels compelled to hide whatever relaionship he has with you, from everopne else, this is no relationship that could thrive. He needs to see a counsellor and deal with all his emotional baggage before he'll be ready for a real relationship with anyone else. OK, if he's so scared to be with you he's surely scared to be with anyone else, but that's not much of a comfort, is it ? And anyone who "loves to hang out in swinger's clubs is a wholly bad choice for any proper relationship. If you really find it hard to extricate yourself from this non-relationship ( or one that exists mainly in your mind, and not his ) then see a personal counsellor to help you achieve this. And to deal with the depression, drinking and cutting. RFecognize that even if you feel love for him, his behaviour says that he actually does not feel much real love for you or, probably, anyone else, not even himself
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