Posted by: lady nina | 2004/12/10

lesson learned 2004

hi there

always at the end of the year i take stock of the past year
me and the girls will gave a nice relaxing supper and talk about these things

how about you sharing some of the important "tests" you've past the last year?

i think the most important lesson i've learn was to "let go" i know it sounds easy but to me it was quite a big thing
i had to let go of my hopes that my ex will change and as a result of that i had to let go of the life long dream of "living happily ever after"
another thing i've learned is that it's all about relasionships, not just with a partner but all the resionships around you
one thing i regret was picking up some weight, i really feel dissapoited in myself
i'm also very happy that i have my kids and that they are ok
i'm also blessed to have my mom as my best friend

just looking back at the year it was a good year

share some of the stuff....


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well done, lady nina. Yes, letting go is simple but difficult. like so many really important skills. Maybe the dream you needed to relinquish was of "living happily ever after---WITH HIM", and you're now free to live happily ever after in other ways. And the slight weight-gain, instead of seeing it as a failure this year, view it instead as an incomplete task, to be achieved next year. Have a great supper

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Our users say:
Posted by: Peter | 2004/12/10

Does anyone agre with me...i think Regret is going to be a very successful man...he seems to have this attitude thats going to take him far in life

To Regret i think you have a great attitute,be strong & keep up the possitive nature.I know you going through a hard time but i think you are coping well

Good Luck

Reply to Peter
Posted by: tal | 2004/12/10

I really feel for you young man...
I wish you all the luck in the future & remember your parents are watching you from the heavens so make them proud.Don't regret the past, your future is important so make the most of it Brian...

Be positive

Take care

Reply to tal
Posted by: Regret(Brian) | 2004/12/10

Thanks Shaun, im going to spend Christmas with them.Im going to get my drivers licence soon.I have 2 get my licence as soon as possible so i can start running the business myself from january.Not much time left.

Yes theres alot of decisions to make right now & some times i don't have a clue what my uncles saying.But he explains me so yeh things are going okay now.There's alot of paper work 7 i have 2 go 2 the lawyer with my uncle & a whole lot of papers

We already have an offer for my dads house so im moving out soon & going to stay at a complex very close to my uncle.My aunties been very kind, alowing me to come over & have supper with them.Breakfast &lunch i do my own thing.

I will always come here when i need help & i hope to speak 2 you the way my names Brian


Reply to Regret(Brian)
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/12/10

.... and are very proud of you!

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/12/10

hi there

i'm so sad for you and i wish there was anyway that i could make the pain go away...

as a mom i can assure you that you were the most precious person in your parents life and that they don't have any regrets of anything that happened in the past - the bad times are just as precious to them as the good times - they loved you for who you are and because of that they couldn't love you more or less depending on your actions ..... their dreams for you was to protect you from the pains of life yet equiping you for the future, you build your future on the foundations they laid in your life and at night look up into the sky and know that they are watching over you all time


Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/12/10

Hi Regret,

I remember you rposting very well, & I do feel for you & what you are going through.

Know that you have come to the right place when it's support you need. You have many decisions that lay in front of you, & know that I have seen that you seem blessed with strength. I cannot even fathom how this maybe affecting you.

I would like to say though, that you do not for a single minute forget that you also need to be taken care of. Maybe now especially more so. Keep in mind that often when we choose to work at something, it always works best the sooner you handle it. Besides there being all these decisions in front of you, know that you have many opportunities as well.

Yes valuing your parents is always a wise lesson we learn, often the hard way. I would like to suggest to you though that you please keep in touch with us as often as you need to. Your life has changed, & will regularly do so. Know that I think it may be helpful for you to try reminder the good things, even though your loss seems overwhelming. I think its those things that carry us through our rough patches. Do not sit back & just wait for your results, have your hope in making them proud of your achievement. Taking the responsibility of running a business your Dad started could also give you a sense of wanting to make it like tribute to him, if it's in your power to do so.

I do recall that you have chosen to be alone, but I feel at this time of year you should not be alone. You have a lot to deal with & going back to an empty home may add to your stress & tension at this moment. Consider a short "holiday" of sorts with the relatives you mentioned before. Although it may seem the best for you is to drown yourself in work right now, know that you must also give yourself the attention you need. Do not forget that you are important as well. Do not forget that you are also entitled to fulfilment, & that you will get this if you choose to take it.

Take care,

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Regret | 2004/12/10

Hi Lady Nina:
I have learned one very important lesson this year.

The year 2004 has been a very painful year for me.Im 18 years old in the last 4 months i have lost both my parents.
*The lesson i learned is to appreciate your parents while they are still alive.I deeply regret the many times i did not listen to my parents & this Christmas is a very sad one for me.I have lost both my parents & im going through a very difficult time right now.I have 2 take over my dads business,im waiting for my matric results & my life has changed dramatically.

I posted a comment the other day in this forum telling everybody to appreciate their parents while they alive because my regrets will never bring them back.


Reply to Regret
Posted by: Liza | 2004/12/10

1. Passing Unisa exams is not as difficult as I always think it will be. (Hoping it wasn't just the pills talking when writing in Nov. Get the results on Monday)
2. I really can do anything I set my mind to (keeping within certain practical limits)
3. I got used to having a really bad boss. The job isn't as hard as it used to be as a result. We now communicate a lot more.
4. I had to let go of the idea that I could get custody of my children. This truly was difficult. Even though his sister wants me to have custody. At this stage it just isn't an option in my life.
5. Not a lesson, but a good thing. My ex-husband and I are communicating much better about the children. I now get informed when there are things like school functions etc. Plus he actually listens when I tell him that some things need to be done. My oldest had toothache - didn't want to tell his father, 'cause he wanted to be a brave boy. He told me though. I then told my xh who eventually took him to the dentist. He also took them to see a psychologist (after I practically nagged him to death, but he wouldn't let me know that he did! He now knows when I want him to tell me about certain things.

6. Also a good thing (not a lesson) I improved my credit rating a lot (it crashed completely soon after the divorce).

There are probably other things - but now I'm thinking about all my goals set for next year too.

Reply to Liza

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