Our expert says:
Abusers, and alcoholics, are often full of promises to reform. It is wise not to believe their verbal promises, and to ask to see lasting proof of the good intentions in good behaviour. Let him demonstrate continuing change, as promises are so cheap to make. Maybe the question is more what sort of chance to give him, than whether to give him any at all. You could tell him that he is indeed behaving a bit better lately, and that you do notice and appreciate that, but that from bitter experience you fear that the improvements would not last if you got back together at this time. If it is what you wish, perhaps suggest that you continue as you are at present, and see how well he can remain helpful, considerate, sober and non-abusive. You could feel more secure too if he enterest and remained in competent counselling, too.
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