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Posted by: Susan | 2007/06/06

Leave snoring husband?

I'm married to a wonderful man.We know each other for 10years and married for 5,with2children. His snoring really becomes annoying lately.It always has been a problem and i spoke to him so many times bout it in the past years, just to seek help or get something to help him stop.He just says that those things from the phamacies never help,but he never even tried one product. It becomes so much a problem for me that i cant sleep anymore.Sometimes i fall asleep as soon as he gets up for work,and sometimes i sit up or watch tv untill he gets up.Luckily i'm working from home,and can get an hour or less sleep before i have to start working and houseduties. I'm so depressed lately,and i've tried talking to him,crying and fighting bout it.sometimes it feels i can strangle him. I've even suggested that we seek councelling but he does not want to go neither does he have the time to, i also suggested that i start sleeping in my daughters room but he doesnt want to hear anything bout it. I really love him but the fact that he doesnt even bother to get something,is really getting to me, and that anger turned into resentment. I want to know if it would be a good enough reason to leave him?Because im thinking about it constantly lately. And is it fair of him to think that because i'm working from home i dont need to sleep at night?Any advice would be appreciated.

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Our expert says:
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A simple soution that often works is this --- snoring generally occurs when someone is sleeping on their back --- sew a cotten-reel or similar small uncomfortable round object into the middle of the back of his pyjama top or T-shirt or whatever he sleeps in ( SOME form of sleeping gear is required here ! ) --- so that whenever he rolls onto his back, it's uncomfortable and he's likely to roll onto his side again.
If the snoring is really severe, it probably wakes you, so you can observe its pattern. One possibly serious variant is Sleep Apnoea, in which a person snores louder and louder, then stops and may indeed not breathe at all for a while, before starting again. If so, this should lead to a visit and assessment by a good general physicial, maybe a sleep lab if there is one available, for assessment. It can lead to physical and health complications, and at the least, not only does it lead to a sleepless spouse, b ut the person themselves generally wakes feeling unrefreshed and tired.
If it is clear that he does NOT have sleep apnoea, ( which can be worsened by giving sleeping pills, bu can be helped by expert treatment ) then maybe EH's idea of sleeping pills for the spouse could be tempting, but long-term use of such pills isn't good and can lead to increasing sleep problems in the spouse and difficulty in stopping them, unless one cautiously uses modern pills like Stilnox, and NOT on every night of the week.
Oh, and Angie, it is NOT true that "natural" sleeping pills can't cause dependency ---(a) NOTHING sold under the label "natural" ( except for what's in the fruit and veg section of the supermarket ) is actually natural at all. (b) ALL such products contain "chemicals", and (c) if they can sedate you enough to be of any use at all in helping you to sleep, they can cause dependency problems. I don't know why people buy the mischievous lie promoted for profit by so many companies that "Natural" means safe and healthy --- arsenic and strychnine are both extremely natural products, and both are deadly. And no natural tree or shrub I know grows pills or capsules --- such products are always heavily processed in a highly unnatural manner. Another problem is that instead of containing only one active chemical, as in medicines, they contain dozens or hundreds of different chemicals, most or all of which have not been properly tested to prove either safety or effectiveness. They're much more chemically dirty.
ANd as Buzz says, nothing about Somnil is "natural" --- it's a drug, doxylamine, which causes drowsiness, and which is contained in various products including some painkillers, and in this country is allowed to be sold without prescription. Thanks for quoting the facts, Buzz !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gracie | 2007/06/06

My husband snores so loud it wakes me up!! I have to shake him and call him - he gets most annoyed with me, yet he is the one who sounds like he is sawing thru a log with a blunt blade!! I love him dearly and although his snoring p*sses me off, I would not leave him because of it - we have two other bedrooms and a lounge a good distance from our room, so if it gets unbearable I could leave! Or force him to. He does not usually snore so loud, but he has the flu and it sounds worse now than before, so I will just tolerate it for a while longer until he is over the flu! He has on occasion told me that I snore softy when I am falling asleep, so it's quite natural - I am sure most people snore albeit softly compared to others at some or other time. It's no reason to want to leave him - it's not something he can help. Geez imagine what the Judge would think if you were to cite your husband's snoring as a reason to get a divorce???!!!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: long term solution | 2007/06/06

The view that people only snore when they sleep on their backs is a load of rubbish....people can snore any which way they sleep.

The only solution is sleeping in separate bedrooms. You cuddle and huggle together and when the person is ready to go to sleep they kiss nighty-night and one person goes sleeps in another bedroom.

Reply to long term solution
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/06/06

Need I say more. Thanks CS!!!

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: Cindy | 2007/06/06

You can also get earplugs at a chemist, if all else fails!

Reply to Cindy
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/06/06

LOL, I'll leave that to you EH!

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: EH | 2007/06/06

hehehe Buzz,

Maybe you should take a pill and relax.

Reply to EH
Posted by: be hardegat! | 2007/06/06

sleep in another room, the hell with what he says!! he actually expects you to lie awake all night listening to his snoring. come on... if he's so hardegat to get help, then you be hardegat till he gets help. at some stage (especially in this cold weather,) he will soon enough realise it not so much fun sleeping alone in a double bed & not having somebody to curl up to for some body heat.

Reply to be hardegat!
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/06/06

Okay well, but it's anyways not a good enough reason to leave her husband.

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/06/06

True Gloomer, I suppose if you're addicted to a natural substance, it's not addiction then?

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: Gloomer | 2007/06/06

lol, EH - weed is natural - and plenty people are addicted..... hehe!

Reply to Gloomer
Posted by: RMC | 2007/06/06

echelle, not everyone sleeps together before they get married?

Susan, are you sure he does not have sleep apneoa - as in he stops breathing as heavy snoring is a sign of it. It is really dangerous as if he stops breathing he wakes up (not even aware of it) and wach time a person wakes up their heart rate rises and their pulse rises so he could have a heart attack or stroke. My DH went to a sleep clinic and we discovered he stops breathing something like 50 times a night and up to a minute at a time. We got him a machine and have never looked back. I suggest you speak to you doc or specialist physician.

And please if he does have apneoa do not let him take sleeping pills or you will bump him off!

Reply to RMC
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/06/06

EH/Angie, Somnil IS addictive, here is an extract of its scheduling status:-

SOMNIL TABLETS

COMPOSITION:
Each tablet contains: Doxylamine Succinate 25,00 mg

PHARMACOLOGICAL CLASSIFICATION:
A 2.2 Sedative, hypnotics,

PHARMACOLOGICAL ACTION:
Doxylamine succinate, a member of the Ethanolamine group of H1 -Blocking Agents, has a pronounced tendency to induce sedation.

INDICATIONS:
Doxylamine succinate is indicated for the alleviation of insomnia.

CONTRA-INDICATIONS:
Doxylamine succinate should not be taken during pregnancy, nor whilst breastfeeding. It is also contra-indicated in epileptics, in patients with severe cardio-vascular disorders, and in patients suffering from an acute asthma attack.

WARNINGS:
This medicine leads to drowsiness and impaired concentration, which may be aggravated by the simultaneous intake of alcohol or other central nervous system depressant agents. Patients should be warned not to take charge of vehicles, other means of transport or machinery where loss of attention may lead to accidents.

DOSAGE AND DIRECTIONS FOR USE:
One to two tablets with water at bedtime.

Not to be administered to children under the age of 12.

This product should be used occasionally and should not be used successively for periods exceeding several days. If insomnia persists consult your doctor.

SIDE EFFECTS AND SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS:
Side-effects:
The most common side-effect is sedation, varying from slight drowsiness to deep sleep, and including lassitude, dizziness and in-coordination.

Other side-effects include gastro-intestinal disturbances such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea or constipation, anorexia or increased appetite and epigastric pain.

Doxylamine succinate may also produce antimuscarinic effects including blurred vision, difficulty in micturition, dysuria, dryness of the mouth and tightness of the chest. Other central effects include hypotension, muscular weakness, tinnitus, euphoria or depression, headache, irritability and nightmares.

Paradoxical central nervous system stimulation may occur with insomnia, nervousness, tachycardia, tremors and convulsions. Doxylamine succinate may precipitate epileptiform seizures in patients with focal lesions of the cerebral cortex.

Allergic reactions and cross-sensitivity to related medicines may occur.

Blood disorders, including agranulocytosis, leucopenia and haemolytic anemia have been reported.

Special Precautions:
Doxylamine should be used with care in the elderly, and in conditions such as closed-angle glaucoma, urinary retention, liver impairment, prostatic hypertrophy or pyloroduodenal obstruction.

Use with care in cardiac failure, hypertension, oedema and cardiovascular disease.

Interactions:
Doxylamine succinate may enhance the sedative effects of central nervous system depressants including alcohol, tricyclic antidepressants, barbiturates, hypnotics, narcotic analgesics, sedatives and tranquillisers.

Mono amine oxidase inhibitors may enhance the antimuscarinic effects of doxylamine succinate, and it has additive effects with other antimuscarinic agents, such as atropine and tricyclic antidepressants.

It has been suggested that doxylamine succinate could mask the warning signs of damage caused by ototoxic medicines such as aminoglycoside antibiotics.

KNOWN SYMPTOMS OF OVERDOSAGE AND PARTICULARS OF ITS TREATMENT:
In children CNS stimulation, resulting in ataxia, excitement, tremors, psychoses, hallucinations and convulsions, occurs. Hyperpyrexia may also occur. Deepening coma and cardiorespiratory collapse may follow. Death may occur from respiratory failure.

In adults, CNS depression is more common, with drowsiness, coma and convulsions, progressing to respiratory failure or possibly cardio-vascular collapse.

Treatment is supportive and symptomatic.

IDENTIFICATION:
Pale blue, flat, bisected tablets with bevelled edges having a diameter of 7 mm.

PRESENTATION:
Packs of 12 and 24 tablets.

~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder why the manufacturers suggest NOT to use it for more than a few nights?

And EH suggesting Susan should use it, while it clearly says people with cardiovascular problems, asthma, epileptics etc shouldn't use it?

LMAO.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: Angie | 2007/06/06

A natural sleeping pill will NOT cause addiction. It's the chemicals in prescription sleeping pills that you can get addicted to.. Read up on something before dishing out advice.

Reply to Angie
Posted by: Cindy | 2007/06/06

My husband has exactly the same problem, his snoring drives me crazy, I could'nt take it anymore and made a doctors appointment for my husband. The dr. prescribed an antihistamine Zyzal as well as Tripolene. Believe me or not, last night was the first time in 5 years that he did'nt snore.

I think he should realize that this is a serious problem and that a dr. can help him.

Good luck

Reply to Cindy
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/06/06

Dear EH

You can get addicted to sleeping pills... LOL.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: EH | 2007/06/06

Dear BUZZ

You can't get addicted to natural herbs....lol

Reply to EH
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/06/06

Echelle, snoring isn't a "behaviour" you're born with, very few young people snore - it only starts when they get older so Susan's husband may not have snored when they met. But even if he did, it's bothering Susan now so saying "you knew what you were in for when you met him" will not solve the problem now.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/06/06

You knew your husband for 5 years before you got married, was the snoring not that bad then or what? Why not sleep in the living room while he thinks you're watching tv?

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: Buzz | 2007/06/06

I've heard so many women complain about husband's snoring, and many of these husbands have seeked help, but they're still snoring. I'm not sure if there's anything to stop it!

It sounds like your husband isn't considering your basic needs (a good night's sleep is a right regardless of what you do as an occupation) and that's probably what upsets you more than the snoring. If he made the effort to at least try different solutions, you'd probably feel better for it even if the snoring continued.

Sleep deprivation can be debilitating in the long run and taking sleeping pills will not solve your problem, it will only create a new set of bigger problems for you personally (dependancy/addiction).

Have a talk to him, try earplugs and if all else fails, stay in your own bed until he goes to sleep and then go to your daughter's room (this isn't ideal and may cause other problems).

Good luck.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: EH | 2007/06/06

I have the same problem, my husband whom I love dearly also snores real loud and all night. He at least feel for me so he will let me fall asleep before him and then he will get into bed, then sometimes I feel bad for making him wait and then he get less sleep. SO...sleeping tablets. Somnil - natural, use it. It works, let's you sleep while he snores. Harmony restored in the married life and you can go on. Try it.

Reply to EH

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