Our expert says:
You need to see a good local counsellor, Gail. You can work through these issues which are troubling you --- and there may also be an element of PostNatal Depression ( which, despite the name, can also be seen earlier in the pregnancy ). You seem to be giving up on the possibility that a shrink, counsellor or meds could help, before ebven trying that possibility. Excellent responses from other readers, here, too
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