Posted by: ME | 2009/02/11

lack of affection

My wife is not affectionate and due to the lack of affection i stopped having sex with her i.e. 2 months. On Sunday we made love but b4 we began I asked her if she misses not having sex. She said yes ... We made love ... the question is - why must i talk about it b4 she even discusses that she misses love making. Last night (tuesday) i touched her again but she uttered that she is tired. It' s amazing that about 10 minutes later our son called her and she played with him ...

Personally i had enough bcoz you cannot repeat the same topic and nothing happens. any suggestions ...bcoz currently i' m contemplating stopping having sex with her &  maybe sleep in separate beds.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The problem is not the sex - its your relationship - see a marriage counsellor to try to work out what the real problem is. The sex is just a symptom

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Zul' man | 2009/02/11

Yes, there are people who are very cold in relationships. They do not initiate or surprise their partners in order to improve sexual appetite. These people are very difficult people to deal with because they have developed a resistance syndrome (stubborn) to change (because they are matured).

The best thing is find a happy moment and ask your partner what excite her, positions, turn her on and sexual desires. This may open her up. Do you watch porn together? If not try to introduce it, not hardcore yet but easy romantic movies. Gook Luck!

Reply to Zul&#39 man
Posted by: ME | 2009/02/11

Can you recommend a marriage counseller in Pretoria East ?

Reply to ME
Posted by: Lady Man | 2009/02/11

Leave her there is enough ladies out there that is not like her. Do not waste your time with a loser. Give her an altimatum and she if she will respond that you will go and find it with someone else.

Reply to Lady Man
Posted by: ME | 2009/02/11

that' s one way of looking at it. I have been discussing the issue with her - the past 3 years. The issue is not about my son or jealousy ... the issue is - she does not even HUG me or even touch me while we are in bed or anywhere. Meaning - if i do NOT touch her she doesn' t do anything.... so if I hug her tonight she will hold me tightly.... The ONLY time we kiss - when we leave or arrive at home. We chat freely about almost everything but it' s as though she is uncomfortable to chat about affection or love making. Yes we have a kid but b4 the kid we had similar issues. Call me a child ANON but we all require affection and it' s a TWO WAY street ...

Reply to ME
Posted by: Anon | 2009/02/11

So, you are punishing the mother of your son for not being " affectionate"  enough to you by withholding sex. Great.
And, you are considering moving to another bedroom because she plays with your son instead of having sex on call.
Even better.
Maybe she doesn' t realise that she has two sons - and you are the jealous one?

If you' d like to have a grown-up response to this situation, maybe you can arrange a babysitter and take her away on a romantic weekend - or for a romantic dinner once a month. And create some grown-ups only time where you romance her off her feet - instead of resenting the fact that she' s a good mother with only so much energy to go around.

Reply to Anon

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.