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Question
Posted by: Lolla | 2003/12/17

Kinders en hul geslagsdele

My verloofde se 4-jarige dogtertjie kuier by ons vir die vakansie, die eerste twee dae het sy baie min toilet toe gegaan en elke keer gekla dat haar urine brand of dat haar 'piepie' vassit. Ek het aanvanklik gedink dat sy dalk maar net bietjie ontsteking het maar deur haar optrede het ek begin agterdogtig raak. Ek wou haar egter nie direk vra nie want ek was bang dalk sy dalk heeltemal sal onttrek. 'n Paar dae later het sy heel toevallig die aanmerking gemaak dat haar geslagsdele seer word as die maatjies by die skool daarmee speel maar as sy slaap in die aand word dit beter. Ek weet nie hoe om die situasie te hanteer nie. Moet ek haar na 'n terapeut toe vat? Sal sy enigsins emosionele letsels oorhou? Weet nie of daar dalk ander is wat dit aan haar doen nie. Wat moet ek doen?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Lolla,
You've done well to be observant and concerned. it does sound as if there's a real problem hee needing to be dealt with. By watching and waiting wisely, and giving her the chance and encouragement to herself say what had happened, you made it more certain that tis was an acurate report, as children sometimes can be over-encouraged to say what they think we want to hear. We don't know exactly what has been happening --- maybe some play between the children at her school, maybe something more abusive. From her complaint of burining urine, she may well have picked up a urine / bladder infection, which would need to be checked and treated with antibiotics as soon as posible, so my first stop would be to take her to see a good GP or pediatrician to check on this. Then it would be wise ( and the GP or pediatrician could recommend someone locally who's a good child psychiatrist or psychologist, to see her and talk about what happened. Don't act too alarmed, as children can at times be more damaged by seeing their parents / caregivers getting frightened or furious, than by the events thmselves. It's likely that this will pass without causing any lasting psychological damage, thanks in part to how well you've handled the situation so far.
Another issue will be to check out --- maybe best after the child shrink has been able to interview her properly and made more certain exactly who has been doing what to who --- what more may beed to be done as regards informing the school ( if they prove to have been negligent or involved, one would be cautious about this ) and informing the CHild Protection nit of the Police, to investigate and make sure no other children are harmed or afected.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Zeena | 2003/12/17

Iets is hier drasties verkeerd en die arme kind is natuurlik totaal onkundig. Ek stem saam: wees maar versigtig en sag, maar kry haar by 'n simpatieke dokter. Takel dan die kwessie van "die maatjies by die skool". Hoe op aarde is dit moontlik dat daar by 'n skool -- ek neem aan dis 'n kleuterskool of creche -- met haar geslagsdele gespeel word? Waar is die toesig?? Jy neem natuurlik ook jou verloofde in jou vertroue met dié probleem. Maar julle moet werk maak daarvan voor die nuwe jaar begin.

Reply to Zeena
Posted by: Vicky | 2003/12/17

Lolla,

Jy moet dadelik 'n dokter raadpleeg wat jou heel moontlik na 'n sielkundige of 'n terapeut sal verwys.

Wat plaasvind of plaasgevind het, is glad nie 'n goeie ding vir 'n klein dogtertjie nie. Maak werk van die situasie, dadelik.

Sterkte.

Reply to Vicky

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