Our expert says:
MC, talk to Pa again, he's being naive. Kids readily adapt to the idea that there are different rules in different places, different households. How she behaves in the days she's with her mother is up to that woman, who can suffer the consequences of her own foolishness if she's neglecting the child as much as it sounds. But the child CAN learn that whenever and all the time she is visitng YOUR home, there is a different set of rules, about behaving, sharing, etc. It's just important that you and pa agree on this and apply the same rules and penalties, as otherwise she will shamelessly and eagerly exploit any differentces, and appeal to pa everytime Ma applies the perfectly fair rules. Pa must guarantee that he'll say --- while you're in THIS home, thouse ARE the rules, I agree with ma, and that's how it will be while you're here.
Maybe he feels a bit guilty about the divorce and wants to compete with his Ex and to avoid scolding or disciplining the kid, and for the child's own sake, he needs to be more adult and paternal. She needs a dad, not another immature and irresponsible pal.
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