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Question
Posted by: porty... | 2006/10/26

Killing yourself .....is it a solution

I went shopping with afriend on Saturday and we later decided to join friends of ours in a party. I didn't tell my boyfriend as I thought I will be back the latest 8.00.At about 7.00 I had 18 missed calls from him( my phone was in a bag) I then sent him an sms that I'm at the party and will be home late( we don't stay together). He didn't respond, 30 minutes later I called him and he was a bit upset. After that he kept on phoning me every 10 minutes and he was getting agry I then decided to avoid his calls and argumets hoping to deal it with in the morning.
i then explined to him what happened and he didn't believe me and said I was drunk and was with another man(cheating). I tried assure him that I'm not having an affair.
Monday he was not feeling well and went to see a doctor and was told that he has a nervous breakdown and he said its all my fault for playoing with his love.
Yesterday he went to see a physiotherapist and he came to see me. And he was so angry that he threatened to kill himself.
I don't know what to say to him anymore or to do as for him killing himself I just can't live with that. What can I do? How do I help him to overcome this?
I'm evenly thinking of calling his sister and let her know what is happening and maybe she can talk to him? is it fine if i involve her in this mess.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

For him to get into such a frenzy about demanding frequent contact and communication with you is unstable and immature. What you describe yourself as doing may n ot have been very considerate towards him, but would never be enough to cause any normal person to have a "nervous breakdown". I hope he saw a psychotherapist, as a physiotherapist would be totally useless in a situation like this. And as I have often said here, emotional blackmail by threatening to commit suicide unless he gets exactly what he demands from you, is never justifiable. If he chose to kill himself, it would be his own choice, and not caused by you. Maybe tell his sister what concerns you. But he is capable of controlling hs impetuous and childish emotions, and should be working with his shrink / doc to get himself right.

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Our users say:
Posted by: porty... | 2006/10/27

Thank you for your time, he was suppose to go see a therapist on Wdnesday but he didn't go and he lied to me that he did go. I think there is more to these that really caused the nervousr breakdown. and something is really happening to hm and he is not telling me and I can't help him if he is not honest. he is just using the Sarurday issue.

Echelle, i have tried several times to go with him to the parties but it seems like he is not enjoying it. he prefers to drop me there and pick me up when finished.
Today I'm meetimg his sister and uncle to talk this out with him and wish he comes clean and decide if he still want this realtionship to work or not.

Reply to porty...
Posted by: Echelle | 2006/10/26

He is only trying to make you feel guilty and he thinks by saying that he want to commit suicide you will start doing whatever he asks, etc etc. Next time, try to take him with you to the party, it's not that nice having to stay at home being miserable, while the one you love is enjoying him/herself.

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: kat | 2006/10/26

tell him to take himself his doc and his shrink and shove them up his ass. firstly read a few days back about what cs said about nervous breakdowns. than tellhim he is in control of hmself and you have nothing to do with it. he is useing emotional blackmail, he is a week spinless little wanker that is trying to dominate you. please all the phone calls next time call him daddy and see how he likes it. coz he isnt your father. dont let him manipulate you like this.

Reply to kat

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