Posted by: Mom | 2008/10/03

Kids that Hit


I have a 2, 4 and 6 yr old. My 4 yr old was always very well behaved. howveer, lately when he doesnt get something that he wants he hits us-mom/dad. Our older one has never and would never do it. Our two year old is now copying his behaviour. Hitting him back obvioulsy would solve anything and I find it very difficlut accepting my child to hit us.What did we do wrong??

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Our expert says:
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You did nothing wrong. It happens. I agree with Maria --- spell out the rules, and consequences, especially the quiet time-out and loss of privileges, and apply these rules calmly and uniformly.

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Our users say:
Posted by: De Bruyn | 2008/10/05

I sort of agree with " Irritable" . I know you aren' t supposed to smack children, but then you aren' t supposed to do a lot of things!!

When I was a young boy, my parents had friends with a youngster of about 5. This kid used to pull adults'  ears and make a general nuisance of himself. When he tried it with my father, Dad did it back to him, just so it hurt somewhat. The kid never did it again.

Try it.

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Posted by: Irritable | 2008/10/03

hit him hard - just once - very very hard - he will stop, i promise you

Reply to Irritable
Posted by: Maria | 2008/10/03

You did nothing wrong, don' t worry. Some kids go through this phase. Is he in creche/playschool? When he hits, simply tell him that this behaviour is not acceptable, in our family we don' t hit. Decide what the consequence of this behaviour will be (e.g. timeout in his room for 4 minutes, removal of privileges like watching tv etc.) and apply the consequences without fail. At 4 he is old enough to understand this, in fact even your two year old can understand it if explain it in an age appropriate way. Make sure you are giving each of them some one-on-one attention. If particular situations trigger the behaviour, try and avoid those situations or distract them. Make sure you model good problem solving and conflict handling behaviour, as kids imitate. Reward him when he behaves well.

I suggest you read some good parenting books. I like Kevin Leman' s books " Making kids mind without losing yours"  and " Bringing kids up without tearing them down" .

You can also post on the Parenting forum for some advice from other parents.

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