Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Gayman, welcome to the forum and thanks for posting here.
Your anus has not got 'bigger' - your sphincter muscles have merely learnt to relax. These ‘elastic’ muscles are capable of substantial stretching, before contraction to a normal state. Your mouth is also a sphincter muscle - after a day of smiling and laughing you don't suddenly have hassles closing your mouth - right? You'd be surprised at the extent to which a fully relaxed anal sphincter muscle is able to relax and distend. Even after being fisted the anus literally tightens up. The challenge isn't to tighten up - it lies in your initial ability to distend your anal muscles.
It is most unlikely that you're too 'wide open' down there. The fact that you're comfortable accommodating your partner merely indicates your ability to relax your anal area. And the more you're able to relax, the more you're able to enjoy stimulation of this area.
Ask your partner how he experiences the sensations associated with penetrating you - any complaints from his side? I seriously doubt it. Kegal exercises are always great but I doubt they'll tighten your butt. You might benefit from being more aware of your anal area and learning the benefits of finer muscle control in that area - the ability to relax is great but your partner might also appreciate a few well-timed contractions around his penis.
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