Our expert says:
If you both have good jobs, (a) why are you having to support him ? and (b) why are the pair of you in such bad debt ? Where is the money going ? Are you generally living beyond your means ? Why does he expect you to support him ? Has he no pride ?
If he isn't really paying for any of the expenses of you, the children and the home, what on earth IS he spending his money on ? How on earth has he got into debt ? Does he gamble, or waste money on drink / drugs ? And if you are running short of money for food and child-care, again, what are you spending the bulk of your money on ? Presumably accomodation, and what else ?
Where does he suddenly get a stack of money from ? And where does it go to ?
( Yes, by the way, stress an indeed interfere with your milk production, as can depression ).
You are NOT failing your children as a mother, and children would NEVER EVER be better off dead. Nor would you.
From the sound of it, you and the children might well do better if you left the lazy bum behind, got a small place of your own and left him to pay for himself, but went to the maintenance court which would REQUIRE him to pay full maintenance for the children, an could arrange for this amount to be deducted rom his pay before he gets a chance to waste it.
And surely your fsamily ( and , indeed, his ) should be helping, too).
Debt counselling is an excellent idea, and you also need, urgently, to see a shrink, either privately ( if you have a good job, you should surely have medical aid ? ) or through your nearest major state facility, about what sounds like a severe depression.
D's comments make a great deal of sense.
Survive, an ensure that your kids survive, because you all deserve to survive and eventually to find happiness. YOur boyfriend sounds like an irresponsible kid, and deserves no sympathy whatever
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