Our expert says:
I certainly do believe you. It sounds like there could be several things going on here, including possibly a severe Depression, even if the specific sadness might not be obvious. The feelings of guilt are typical of that, because there is no way you could have prevented his death, much though you would want to have been able to do so. See a good local counsellor to make sense of all this, and then to make peace with it all.
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