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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2007/07/12

Just visiting

I left a small town for the big city about 11 years ago - unfortunately I had to leave my boyfriend as well whom I loved very much but my career was more important back then so we broke up and did not keep in touch. He died in a car crash shortly after that and we did not have time to resolve our feelings. I only heard a couple of months later through a mutual friend.

I moved on, married a wonderful guy and have a beautiful baby girl. Now, all of a sudden, it feels like my old bf is with me all the time, memories of us keep on popping into my head and I think about him day and night. 27/7!! I tried writing him a letter and that helped, but only for 2 weeks and now he is back. I did not tell anyone because of their reaction I feel like I am going mad. I enjoy having him and the good memories and all but I can't concentrate!!

I keep on thinking that if I stayed I could have prevented his death in a way. And on the other hand I am successful in my work if I did not leave then then the opportunities would have been less and I would'nt be where I am now.

How do I make peace with this all?

You probably also won't beleive me.

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Our expert says:
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I certainly do believe you. It sounds like there could be several things going on here, including possibly a severe Depression, even if the specific sadness might not be obvious. The feelings of guilt are typical of that, because there is no way you could have prevented his death, much though you would want to have been able to do so. See a good local counsellor to make sense of all this, and then to make peace with it all.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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