Posted by: Happy | 2008/06/09

Just putting thoughts into words..

(Know it’s a long unnecessary post, just want to share my feelings a bit, even if it is in general, so feel free to skip this post CS ;))
Heehee, I’m so in love, and the best of all? We’ve been together for almost 4 years now. Never thought I could ever be this happy. In general I am a very positive person, but I'm very private and very protective of my feelings, never opened up much to people ( even my twin sister, though she probably knew me best ) Though it’s just different with my bf, I think it’s the complete trust I have in him. A few weeks ago I suddenly went into a panic, I don’t know why, I just suddenly realized how invested I had become in our relationship and how hurt I can get if anything ever went wrong, even without noticing I had no more walls up and I had no more control (something very scary for me) because he knows everything about me. I suddenly felt very vulnerable and felt the “old” me returning, I climbed a bit back into my comfort zone of dulling my emotions a bit and trying to distance myself…Hahaha, he noticed immediately (and there I thought I was being subtle ;)) As usual we talked about it (him wanting to know exactly whats wrong so he can fix it ) I just keep being amazed at how well he knows me. So bare with a woman being in love, I’m making a quick list of a few reasons why I love him so much.
I love
- That we can talk about anything, from serious to mundane to the outright silly stuff
- The look in his eye when he first sees me, he still has that “man-I’m-lucky-to-have-her” look
- The fact that I’m smiling like crazy now just thinking about him
- That we can be serious together
- That we still have our independent lives apart from our relationship
- Even though we are both very rational and responsible people we can relax and just do silly things together
- That we laugh. Always. constantly
- We argue (sounds contradicting, but to me it proofs our relationship is real, two people will clash sometimes no matter how much they love each other)
- That he knows my tickle spot (a feat in itself – took him some time to find it, which wasn’t fair because my sister pointed it out to him :P) – my point just being, he knows everything about me
- That he makes my life feel worry free – even though I have a lot of responsibilities and problems to take care of
- That he never, for a moment, makes me wonder about his feelings for me
- That even though I know in reality every relationship needs work, and ours have had our share of it, I can’t help to feel I’ve been spared a bit, because all the work always seems worth it, because I receive so much more
- That we can just relax together
Okay, now I’m just being soppy and corny :P

So if I’m this in love, why did I panic? The old age problem. Marriage, I realized I wanted it, but he’s not quite ready yet. We have to finish studying first, luckily this is our final year – both of us are studying engineering. My bf is way too much of a planner to get engaged before we are financially able. At least we’re openly talking about it, but just this once I wish he was impulsive :p Would be great if he proposed this year. I always thought he’d be the first one to want to get married...well I lost that battle :P ;)

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Our expert says:
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Pleased to hear you have found a happy relationship. Work hard together to keep it thus

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Our users say:
Posted by: Well | 2008/06/10

Its good that u are both happy but please dont rush into marriage u r still young,just wait a bit...good luck.

Reply to Well
Posted by: Happy | 2008/06/10

Hi E.S, it also took a while for me to be able to open up, was hurt a lot in previous relationship, makes it more difficult to open up in the next relationship. I'm sure you'll feel more comfortable as time goes on with your bf, think it is a good thing to be a bit on your guard in the beginning, but LOL, you're right, I'm only 23 years old so still got a lot to learn ;)

Thanks for everyones good wishes, one thing I've learned is that you don't know everything you think you do, so I realize there is a good reason most people think it's better to wait then rush into marriage, I know our time will come - still going to look forward to it though :P till then I'll just enjoy what I have. Have a nice day everyone!

Reply to Happy
Posted by: Maria | 2008/06/10

Happy, hang on to that guy. You sound like a lucky woman!

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Kb | 2008/06/10

Happy- im happy (ha ha) for you. I wish my relationship was like yours. Its normal to panic about the marriage thing, and wanting it. You do at some stage want to take your relationship to the next level.

As E.S. said that you are both proberly in your twenties. Relax, you still have time. Enjoy the relationship while its good and making you happy. To rush things may cause unhappiness.

Reply to Kb
Posted by: E.S. | 2008/06/10

Dis goed om van jou geluk te hoor.

Ekself sukkel om heeltemaal oop te maak in my huidige verhouding. Good for you. Maar uit ondervinding uit weet ek dis net die eerste keer wat dit so is. Ek neem aan julle is nog in julle vroeë twintigs. Nog jonk. Wees geduldig en versigtig.

En dis nice dat julle konserwatief is. Moet nooit dat iemand jou beïnvloed wat dít aanbetref nie.

Sterkte met 'n blink toekoms!

Reply to E.S.
Posted by: Happy | 2008/06/10

LOL, which would be what? we're not living together or anything like that, we're very traditional old style couple, waiting for marriage. Sometimes it is just what it is ;)

Reply to Happy
Posted by: P | 2008/06/09

If he gets what he wants, why should he want to get married?

Reply to P

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