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Posted by: Ka | 2007/08/15

Just need some encouragement...

I broke up with my boyfriend on Sunday. We were together for 6 months and he told me he didn't love me. I'm just feeling really down and am trying to keep my mind off it but it keeps going back and then I cry. I don't have enough to keep me busy at work so I tend to dwell on it. Why didn't he love me?? I'm totally worthy of love and i know it but I was starting to feel so much for him and it HURTS.
Any encouraging words or advice on how to move on would be much appreciated...really...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Of course you feel down --- he treated you very badly, and you deserved better than that. Don't wory yourself with questions like "why didn't he love me ?" --- that's his problem that he couldn't recognize a really nice person when he had the chance. And in the end it will become clear that this is actually his loss, more than yours. And thoughn it hurts now, you are now free to move on --- now that you know how capable of cruelty he is, its just as well he has left you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ka | 2007/08/16

Hey guys, thanks for the kind words. I actually broke up with him because I couldn't be with a man who didn't think he was capable of loving me or anyone...the fact that he liked my company and wanted to be with me was not enough. It was a hard decision to make but I did the right thing. Still its difficult and I'm going to miss him and the good times we did have together.

Joe and Veez, hang in there too, because it will get easier all of the time. I think its those unanswered questions that really drive us insane! And the long weekends that stretch before you with nothing to do. But we should NOT sit at home and mope, because I know that is not what he is doing. I'm going to make an effort to go out and have some fun again. No more than a weeks worth of tears or it becomes far too easy to cry all of the time!

Thanks to all and the cybershrink

Reply to Ka
Posted by: Joe | 2007/08/16

Hi Veez & Ka

Thx for u'r wise words man...I was in the same boat as you...I was dumped by my girlfriend of six years two months ago just as we were about to move in toegether and plan for our future and that of our son's.I also felt hurt 'cause I had so many unanswered questions.She also didn't give me a reason, just saying she wants to move on...and that she loves me but that she doesn't want to be with me anymore...(n Isuspected that she was having a fling somewhere)...She denied it but I could sense that I was being dropped for another guy...I hurt like hell...
I always had the feeling that nothing would go wrong in my life....'cause I had everything going for me in life....but then I was being dropped by my girlfriend...did it hurt...but ya....I kept in touch with my son...I c him everyday..I don't see his mom that often...maybe once a week...I don';t think that I would want to c her more...I've accepted the fact that it's over and that there is nothing I can do to change her mind...Life has to go on...

Two months down the line, I feel as good as ever...to a certain extent I've cum to terms with what happened..It wasn't a loss for me...It was a loss for her..She's trying to get back with me...that's what I can see from her sms's and fone calls...But I won't take her back...Im moving on in life....she made her decisions and now I want her to stick to it...she can see that I have moved on...why must I take her back when she left me...she dropped me...I've got soo much love to give and believe u me...Im gonna find that women that's worthy of my love...

Just hang in there hey...u'll make it thru...just show her no matter how much it hurts, that u r a better person...

You might not realise it now...but later u'll see that u r better of without her...u better off without a selfish women who only thinks of herself and her own feelings...

Hope things go well for u guys and in a few months time just keep us posted as to what happened after u've received our replis...


Good luck

Reply to Joe
Posted by: Veez | 2007/08/16

People never realise what they have until its gone. As much as we want to hold onto things, my advice is to let him go. I know that it hurts and that you have many unanswered questions, but I suggest that you do not think of these aspects, but rather on the fact that it is a lot better for him to have done this now than later on. I recently got dumped by my girlfriend - I truley loved her and would have done anything for her. She too told me that she no longer loves me, three days before she made love to me and told me how much she loved me and how she did not want to lose me. I too have many unanswered questions and a whole lot of hurt. But I realised that its her loss, not mine. She admitted that I did nothing wrong and that everything had to do with her. It hurts, but I have taken comfort in the fact that I did nothing wrong and that its only a matter of time before she fully regrets her decision - you have to remember that every person comes to a realisation at some stage in thier lives. Please hang in there and try to look at the positive aspects of all of this. Time heals all wounds and at least you know that you have done nothing wrong. The biggest bonus for you is that you did not play with his emotions or feelings and that is something that you can be proud of. Trust me, what goes around, comes around..........

Reply to Veez
Posted by: Babes | 2007/08/15

he did'nt deserve u, he's a self centered thing with no feelings for others but for himself, keep ur chin up love.

Reply to Babes

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