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Question
Posted by: Lonely | 2005/05/23

Just how do i ............................

For some reason, i feel he is ready to let me go but he just dont want to spell it out.

Financially, (at this stage) i cant go live on my own, we have a child.....

I dont trust him, its been a while and even though i never cought him or seen him with somebody else with my naked eye, as the days go by things that happens within our relationship tells me that he is seeing someone else.....

I still love him, and even thou this has happened before, even thou i dont trust him if he can be honest with me and tell me the truth i am prepared to forgive him and start afresh............

Me not trusting him makes me suspisious of everymove he makes - which is not healthy for both of us...

I cry everytime i go to sleep, i feel like i could screem....

I spoke to him about my insecurities, about each and every feeling i have, it was a bit easy to do so as him and i developed with good communication, we could speak about anything (which is one of the things that make me suspect cos he is now drawn, he does not speak much and dont seem interested in what i have to say)

He then declares his undying love for me ( i cant do the same cos i feel he is lying to me)

I hope all this will end and we both can be happy again.
I hope we can rebuild what we (rather i )have lost - trust
I hope we can be friends as well as lovers
I hope i wont have to let go...................
I hope we will never part ..................

How do i make sure this happens
How does one deal with all this

Sometimes i wish i was dead, i dont want to die, i have a child to live for............ i am getting depressed by the day............... how do i be happy again............... how do i take away all the insecurities.............................................................................................................................................

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry, I hear your sadness and oncerns, but this really is not a psychiatrisc problem. If you separate, he must surely be held liable to pay maintenance for the child, by any court that got involved.
If he really wants to leave you, he probably will. If he wants to fix the relationship, he would join you in relationship counselling. Maybe he finds things convenient as they are, and if you're unhappy, he'd rather that you'd choose to leave, than put in any effort to pay proper attention to your unhappiness, let alone actually try to fix it. Sounds as if either way, he'd rather leave all the work to you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ditto | 2005/05/23

I like it that you have or are coming to terms with the fact that "you" need to make the change. You keep saying "I", which is great because it means that you are acknowledging your responsibilities. It takes a lot to realise that, so hang in there.
I'd like you to remember though, that although some changes are inevitale, trust is something that is earned. Maybe as TTH says above, you could just be making assumptions, & you would know best here.
Some good couselling would surely be a good suggestion here to help you put your thoughts in perspective.
It could very well be that emotionally he is also going through quite a hard time where he maybe feeling not ready to confess all thereby causing you to maybe jump to conclusions.
It's hard work yes, & emotionally very taxing, but hang in there...

Reply to Ditto
Posted by: Lonely | 2005/05/23

Thanx TTH, thank you for taking the time to read this long story of mine..

The thing is a lot happens that makes me think he is seeing somebody else.

I said i think is prepared to leave me but just dont have guts to do so becasue when i told him about my unhappiness he told me what now, if i want to leave he wont stop me!

What can he mean about that?

Reply to Lonely
Posted by: Trying to help | 2005/05/23

You say you never saw him cheating on you or dont you have any proof besides the communication break down? Dont make assumptions, talk to him, ask him what is bothering him. Maybe it's something about the two or three (child) of you which he does not know how to start talking about. Dont just think about him cheating, think about some thing else which have an impact on all of you, which you both could rectify.

Reply to Trying to help
Posted by: Suga | 2005/05/23

If u feel like hangin in there, do so,

but guys this is a difficult one as i am almost in da same boat...

CS, Where r u?

Reply to Suga

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