Posted by: Simple Girl | 2009/08/20

Just found about about an affair - friend of the mistress.

I just found my close friend is having an affair with a married man. They claim to be in love and I believe them as they both married quite young. While I dont really care what goes on in their lives I' m feeling really stunned about this, and have sworn myself to secracy, but now I' m the only one who knows and I' m kinda feeling terrible, terrible that I' m holding such a massive secret inside, its all I can think about but when I REALLY think about it regarding my personal views I dont care, in fact I' m happy for them if they' re happy and I understand the circumstances and I dont condone the secrets and lies, although kinda wondering whats gonna happen next. Why do I feel like this????

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Our expert says:
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Why do you rish to believe them ? They presumably each believed they were in love with their spouses, at least when they got married, and apparently they were wrong them, or hanged their minds. Why so certain they're right now ? With each of them, if there are problems in their marriage they should try, with the aid of a marriage counsellor, to pu things right, first. If that proves impossible, then they should honestly get a divorce, and THEN consider forming a new relatonship with someone else. There is no need to cheat or be dishonest about things.
When people insist on swearing you to secrecy so as to tell you their dirty secret, refuse to accept that bad bargain.
They may think they are happy NOW< but, I repeat, there was a time when they believed just as sincerely that they were happy in their marriages. Why do you think it's fine, so long as they're happy, for them to bring grief to two other innocent people ?

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