Posted by: C | 2009/02/20

just don' t feel sexy

I' m a pretty, slim and curvy petite woman. I often get complimented and told I' m sexy and whatever.
My man tells me that he thinks I' m very attractive and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
My problem is that I just don' t feel sexy anymore. I almost hate myself, I felt wonderful a while ago, confident and happy. Now, all of a sudden, I just want to hide away and not let my man near me.
Earlier this week, he saw a pretty girl with her child and husband, and made a comment which really angered me. He said " Did you see that chick? If I was with her I would have knocked her up too" 
I found this offensive, felt as though it meant that he' d rather have her than me, and I told him that it upset me and that it offended me. He told me that he should be able to tell me anything, and I told him not to be stupid, there is such a thing as openness and honesty but there is also diplomacy and tact. He didn' t agree. I asked how he would feel if I said about the girl' s husband " Wow, I wish he would have knocked me up instead of her" . He didn' t answer. Do you think this little incident has maybe shaken my confidence in myself? How do I feel sexy again?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is very true – How we feel about ourselves – the way we think and see ourselves, impacts how we feel about ourselves. You mention that your man pays you compliments, but you somehow just do not take it…you do not believe him, so how do you think that makes him feel?

I would suggest that you start by taking charge of your own thoughts and stop criticizing yourself. Accepting compliments – although you do not feel it/think it, it is the other person’s opinion and by not accepting it, you are actualizing indicating that they have poor taste!

The following website has a section under assignments – self-exploration that could be helpful in assisting you with the process of making peace with your body - You are welcome to phone the SASHA Helpline – 0860 100 262; and a facilitator will be able to assist you in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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