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Question
Posted by: Curious | 2007/08/07

Just a Question

How many of you guys have been cheated on, and how do you cope with that? Tell me the story!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

:)

Perhaps the question should be "How many of us have cheated on a partner?" And how did we cope with it - did we tell our partner?

Glad you're back in the pack Deeve and I was staying in Melville.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Joe | 2007/08/07

Lonewolf thanks great advice. Im too scared to speak to him too scared to loose him. Will try and give more than 100% try to refind us. Maybe maybe maybe

Reply to Joe
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2007/08/07

Hi Joe. We all make mistakes. I made numerous. See the positive in your decision, in that you did not cheat. Maybe you should try to talk to your lover and express your true feelings. Maybe he is feeling the same and you can part amicably, if it has to get to that. Remember, communication forms the basis of any kind of relationship. Keep us posted and keep well.

Reply to LONEWOLF
Posted by: Joe | 2007/08/07

Crusify me my shoulders are big, but i have a small heart - and i did the right thing im not going. I will not hurt him but it doesnt take the pain away. Im lonely in my relationship but im too scared to loose him. He is not my soulmate

Ill make it work out.Curious, never say never,

Reply to Joe
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/08/07

Hey Joe,
I'll never profess to be the earth's angel, but if you want my five cents...and I guess you won't be offended, I recon "DONT DO IT!"! If you and your mate go to a restuarant, doesn't his grub always 'look' better than yours...? ...only for him to turn around later and recon his meal was kind'a bland, or just plain ordinary?
You know what you've got right now...and unless you two are at the unfixable stage...I suggest you rather take option two - and go home and do some spade work Buddy. Yeah....put your hormones back in your pocket, stand back a few more paces, take a deep breath, and then relook at the situation, the consequences, and what you're actually setting yourself up for, cause I recon you may dearly regret this option. I can assure you, the 'other guy' may just have a whole lot more respect for you too, if you 'can' this whole thing. You can always pursue this later, if you break up, but not before. Just my thoughts....Cheers

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Curious | 2007/08/07

If you love your partner, why would you meet another guy?
Guess your love and my love is totally different, if you love your patner you will work things out, not by looking for someone else.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2007/08/07

So Joe, if you feel bad about it, why go ahead with it?

Reply to LONEWOLF
Posted by: Joe | 2007/08/07

Strange this came up now - going through a patch in my relationship - and fell for another guy. Meeting him tonite but i feel like hell - im going to cheat on my partner who i love. He deserves better than me

Reply to Joe
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/08/07

Hi Lonewolf, Glad things are somewhat brighter for you right now. As you say, nothings a guarantee with any relationship, but if you don't give anything a try, you will never know! Keep the fire burning, and let us know how things are going....good luck man!

Now Brad...I haven't been around the forum for a while, and today read some of the older posts.. How was the cheese cake then....? This forum really blows me in how we get to know more about each other over the months...I didn't kind of picture you Baking...good going!! Did it turn out OK then...?

And while I'm at it, what''s happened to many of the other regulars...Boyboy, Tammycdtv, Thomas, Ti, Pumpkin Eater....and Greek, you're very quiet?

And the Experts in Jhb, and not telling us which Hotel, so we can go meet for a Beer...???

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2007/08/07

I agree in some ways. If there is no confrontation and you simply do not know WHY, what you did wrong? If anything, it is the worst. My break-up earlier this year was very similar, he just left and disappeared. I still do not know why, nor if there is another party involved. It hurt badl of course, but I got over it with the simple reasoning that he was not worth it. If he does not even have the guts/decency to explain, what kind of person is he after all?

Meanwhile, I rekindled a romance with a very dear friend whom I was involved many moons ago. Guess what, at the time we could not really see a relationship working and both of us were rather immature and into a lot of cruising etc, but now, it seems it is going to work. So let's see. I am really working on it, both of us do, and although the word "relationship" has not been mentioned yet, the sparks are flying. We are of course both HIV +, and we seems to find comfort in each other. That is why I have not really posted here over the past fortnight, too busy. Keep well.

Reply to LONEWOLF
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/08/07

Many times while I was out kissing all the frogs......but only once by a long term lover. Somehow, you always seem to be the last to know....and I felt quite the fool. No, I didn't have to do any of the breakup work, cause he just took off, and never came back - they're still together!. It took me a year to get over the hurt and betrayal. The first few weeks were like death warmed up...I couldn't understand what I had done wrong. You see, this is where we all learn...it wasn't me that had done anything. Hectic learning curves! You do heal after many months...but thats why some us know the meaning of 'time heals all'!
But lifes not all bad man...I got an awsome b/f now, and really know how to apreciate him to the full! Cheers

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Naughty | 2007/08/07

I have been cheated on,a few times by the same partner. Its quite a long story. I took her back over & over again - I know stupid yes,but love is blind and boy was I blinded. I eventually got to a point where I just couldnt take it anymore. Took that step and said enough!

It was difficult & sometimes still is but its all part of learning and surviving. I know Im better off without her, I know I deserve better and I know I can overcome all the heartache in time. It was a sign that it wasnt meant to be.

To answer your question - everyone has there own way of dealing with things, sometimes not the correct way but what ever it is, its a way!

Reply to Naughty
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2007/08/07

Once. I confronted him, had an argument. Forgave him end went on with the relationship.

Reply to LONEWOLF

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