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Question
Posted by: Wondering | 2005/07/25

Jhb Guys

I'd like to hear thoughts from other people on the dating scene in Jhb. Where do you meet decent guys in Jhb? I'm not into the club scene and tried the internet dating thing, but most guys on there are only after sex. I'd like to meet some one who wants to get to know me before anything else. Or am I being naive?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Wondering

Your issue is not limited to Jhb - it certainly applies to Cape Town, and I can only imagine how difficult it must me in places like Upington or Bloemhof. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned about this but I like the idea of dating. Getting to know someone, a bit of romance, taking it slowly, a touch of anticipation. For many gay men in particular a 'date' is simply a pre-arranged sexual encounter, with resultant relationships based on lust. I'm amazed when I hear of couples meeting to have sex, moving in together three days later and being surprised and devastated when the relationship ends two months down the line. In such instances there was never space for a true relationship to develop. I think our lesbian sisters are one up on gay men when it comes to dating and courting each other.

Thanks for posting your message. I'm interested in what others will say about this issue.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Wouter | 2005/07/26

Sometimes I think its more difficult to meet someone serious in the bigger cities where there are gay clubs and bars than in smaller placed which don't have the bars and clubs, simply becuase in the bigger cities there are more guys - the choice is just far too big. So guys resist forming relationships because they always hope the next guy will be better. In smaller towns where your options are less it is easier to make a choice and you can't be on that for-ever lookout for someone better or hotter. I hope this makes sense.

Reply to Wouter
Posted by: Emcc | 2005/07/25

How about joining an extra-mural class/group of some sort? Volunteering at an organisation? Taking up a new sport/hobby where you'll meet new people?

Reply to Emcc

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