Posted by: Penny | 2008/10/03

jekyll n hyde

Hi there pls can anyone help me understand my own weird behaviour? I am quite a reserved person, a bit nerdy really. Yet I have an incredibly promiscuous side. I don’ t go home with men but my behaviour up till the time I leave a party, event or club is worrying. Booze or not booze. It is obviously worse with alcohol. When I am out at some point i start flirting with someone, leading guys on, being very seductive in my ways and then abruptly leaving when I feel I have ‘ worried’  them enough. Why do I do this? Yes I have a nerdy background and was a late starter for sex but I’ m now in my late 30s, why am I still doing this? I also only dress u really well if I know there will be men where I am going. I have not interest in ladies meetings, ladies clubs etc. Unless men will be there I won’ t bother. Then when I get there the vicious cycle of behaviour starts agn.

The next day I alwys feel very ashamed but if some1 calls me that night and says lets go out, the first thing I think of is how beautiful I can make myself look and how many ppl I’ ll be able to play games with. I absolutely don’ t dress like a slut but I have a great figure and tend to look good in most outfits. That said, I always wear outfits which show off my figure the best.

When am I going to get past this? It started around age 22. If I spend time with a man I cut off the relationship or fling at the first opportunity. This gives me more time to get back into the flirting and teasing game.
I am ashamed by my own behaviour but why can’ t i stop it? It feels to me like a cigarette feels to a smoker.
Pls help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

YOu enjoy hunting. Maybe you were, earlier on a a more pure nerd, led on and dumped by some men you fancied, so now you're getting your own back ? This is about game playing, to boost your otherwise perhaps low self-esteem, and not about relationships, let alone any trace of love or even fondness. You will get past this when you choose to stop it. You can stop, you just haven't so far chosen to do so.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: SR | 2008/10/04

You are playing out your alter ego and yes it will scare you and you may even cringe at your actions and behaviour? Have you ever considered what might happen if you lose the guilt feelings and that side of you becomes your dominant side? I think there are many just like you, you are not unique, you are hooked on power and the thrill it gives you. Thats why you stop anything that gets too serious as this will tend to cut off that side of you that brings you these thrills, the side that causes you to have power.

Think about it

Reply to SR
Posted by: Penny | 2008/10/03

thank u T i appreciate the advice! Seems staying home till I mature emotionaly is my best bet

Reply to Penny
Posted by: T | 2008/10/03

Wow. Have you tried saying no to going out then? It is a dangerous game you are playing, you might end up getting hurt. Society is not what it used to be, attacks and rape are reality!

Reply to T

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