Our expert says:
DR, we'll surely soon hear from our other readers on this one. Too much jealousy ( Pathological Jealousy we call it in the trade ) is the guy who wants DNA tests on the bedsheets every time he arrives home --- jealosy with no partocular reason, out of all proportion to any provication of it, unreasonable and over the top.
Now, it's actually understandable for a 35 to have a 23 as a pal --- if they share an interest in stamp-collecting, or work together for a charity, and so on. But where the 23-year-old has a boyfriend, it is NOT reasonable for her to go all night partying with Mr 35, or to sleep over at his place, even if she shares the cat-box. She's talking nonsense when she says there's nothing going on between them and he's like an older brother --- she would hardly go ought partyinh all night with an older brother. And, as you point out, even if she's accurate in saing that she feels no sexual attraction for him ( and we only have her word for that ) we don't know what his feelings are for her. Mr 35, from your descripttion, is not having a 35-year-old relationship with her, but sounds like he's pretending to be the youngster he no longer is in fact.
You do not have a jealousy problem --- you have a problem girlfriend behaving in a way that any man would feel jealous about. The situation isn 't really confusing --- it's she who is trying to confuse you, and there's only one obvious reason why she might want to do that.
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