Posted by: mandy | 2005/06/13

jealousy makes you nasty

I am jealous of my fiance, not over other girls but because he has such a happy go lucky life. he succeeds in everything he does, people admire him, his family thinks he is god, he loves himself and whenever i am depressed he just tells me to be positive i have got so much to be gratefull for. when we have fights that he started he just denies blame, he has lots of friends and just has such a wonderful life. me on the other hand, i have a bad past behind my name, my parents are both ill, i struggle to pass my exams, i dont have any friends,. I find myself getting very irritated with my fiance little more every day and i dont know how to fix it.

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Our expert says:
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Well, it's hardly his fault that he leads a happy life, and that so far you have chosen not to lead such a happy life. Happiness isn't simply about having nice things happen for you, but abo ut having a pleasant atitude towards whatever does happen to you. A counsellor could help you to fix this, and this would be adviseable for both of your sakes.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ec | 2005/06/13

i agree with A1B2!
and food for thought:
"As water reflects a face, so man's heart reflects the man."
change the way you look at things, and the way things look will change!

Reply to ec
Posted by: A1B2 | 2005/06/13

I know what you mean. My hubby is exactly the same, and here I am at a dreary job and he gets to go to functions have fun and work at the same time, all the time.

Jealousy can create such a rift, you must pease be careful. Jealousy can kill love.

I'm sorry to say, but the fact is that you do have to enjoy things in YOUR life as well. Everyday make a note what YOU have to be grateful for, make a point of concentrating on the good in YOUR life - NOT in comparison to his. Some people are just more successful, bottom line. Start focussing on your good points and making them better and you will start liking yourself again, then people will come into your life (friends), then you will gain new appreciation everyday - for YOU!

Good luck sweetie. Be the best YOU can be. And try eveything you can just to be happy for him, for his happiness. It just makes you a nicer person, jealousy, I know from very personal experience wil only kill what love and appreciation there could be. And one more thing, share in his love of life and friends. Ask about how's he doing, take an interest, listen and try to pick up things in his attitude that you could replicate.

It's a decision to have the best time of your life, and the one thing I've noticed my husband does that I didn't before : Look at troubles with a view to creating solutions, look at them like a challenge and try your best to have fun with creating solutions.

If you have fun with life, others will see this too. If you can smile, even when it's pouring troubles, others will appreciate your resolve and good nature and problem solving orientation.

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