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Question
Posted by: Jealouse wife. | 2007/12/04

JEALOUSY KILLING RELATIONSHIP

Hi,

I need to know if there is any counselling for extreme jealousy? I need help please. I love my husband so much , he is very loving , faithfull , honest....but I always end up hurting him by falsly accusing him of liking other women. Only after huge fights and crying do I realise that I am totally wrong. He really does NOT flirt or even try flirting!!!!!! My jealolusy is KILLING my relationship.Please!! Could my insecurities have anything to do with my childhood? Growing up without a father as he left my mom when I was only 2.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

CBT, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, is the best for changing such bad habits of thought and behaviour. You have already made the first, critically important, step by recognizing that this is a problem you have and need to change. You may be carrying a bundle of assumptions based on what your mother told you about how meanly your father treated her, which has led you to expect the same thing from the man in your life

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/12/05

The humiliation will pass - it takes time, after therapy and an efficient amount of time passing with no overreactions, you will feel strong and wonderful (in his eyes and yours). No one is perfect - relax!

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Jealouse Wife | 2007/12/04

Yes, he has a very kind and soft heart.

He will always be friendly to anyone , even women that are not even nearly attractive. So I do know it's not flirting , just decent freindliness. However , when it comes to other attractive women , I overreact and blurt things out before I can stop myself. He dosen;t have women friends as such , just co workers that we work both with. I will really consider the therapy , but I feel so humiliated admitting to him that I need it. He has in the past suggested that I get help , because he says that my behaviour hurts him and I know he will fully support me.Still , I feel humiliated...

Reply to Jealouse Wife
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/12/04

If your husband is anything like my fiance, it is an eagerness to help and not flirting as such. Whenever we go to parties he would be the one getting the crowd together for a photo. His ways have seemed strange at times, but it has also always become very clear after the tears and total overreaction that I realised that he's just a sincere and helpful guy. This behaviour can easily be seen as flirting, especially when you feel a little neglected at times.

You firstly need to accept him for who he is - it's such a wonderful quality to have in a husband and secondly you need to work on you impulses to control you behaviour towards him. Rather admire him for it.

I hope you get it sorted out - it really is awful to feel so crazy and out of control.

Good luck

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Lolo | 2007/12/04

That should start within u, what makes u act like that, does he has lot of woman friends?

Reply to Lolo

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