Posted by: piet skiet rudolf | 2004/11/11

jealousy and low self esteem advise urgently needed

Kernel and other
kernel write "Jealousy stems from a low self esteem. Because you doubt yourself, you doubt your partner and accuse him/her of all sorts of things. Counseling would definately help."

I have been to therepists several times in the past five years to deal with jealousy and low self esteem. what can i do to help myself build a strong self esteem and stop being jealousy with my wife of 5 years? Help

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Our expert says:
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Sorry you've not found the therapists you've seen so far to be too useful, but it is worth persisting. The approach I favour, which is becoming more widely available ( and favour it because there is excellent evidence that it works and has lasting benefits ) is CBT, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Check if there's a shrink in your area who can provide this specific form of therapy. One of the books I am trying to review for recommendation in this section, provides a self-help guide to working on low self-esteem and jealousy yourself, and you may find that useful, too. So keep watching this space for the arrival of the reviews, later.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/11

Hi Piet,

I think maybe you should first stop thinking that you have a low self-esteem & start feeling proud of yourself.
The are courses like assertiveness training, & I'm also certain that CS would suggest CBT here.
Jealousy is another issue altogether, as this involves trust & security. Look at your reasons for epxeriencing these feelings then try think if there is actually any truth to your feeling this way. Know what they say, jealousy makes you nasty, & I'm sure you wouldn't like your wife thinking of you on these lines. But please try & work on it as jealousy can really kill a relationship.


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