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Question
Posted by: Green Eyes | 2008/01/30

Jealousy

Hi, I need someone to tell me how to deal with this emotion. i have been dating a man for a year and i have never been so jealous before in my life. i hate the fact that he has girls that are friends even though i know they mean no harm. i even get annoyed when he wants to spend time with his friends because i instantly feel ike he is trying to get away from me. He tels me all the time that he wants to spend his life with me but still i stay insecure and wondering if this is too good to be true? We had an incident earlier last year where he was still in close contact with an ex gf. He used to sms he things that he sed to say to me and when i confronted him about it he said because they had been dating for 5 years they were still very close. He has agreed to break conact though. I just need to know how to assure myself that i am good enough for him and he wants to be with me. How do i stop the jealousy? I dont want to lose him!

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Our expert says:
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See a personal counsellor, preferably of the CBT format. to explore and gain control over the jealousy.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Green Eyes | 2008/01/31

Hi Anon, wow i feel alot better to know that im not the only one. It is my new years resolution too and i am also so sick of explaining myself because my bf feels as if i dont trust him either. Hope things go well that side too!!!

Reply to Green Eyes
Posted by: ANON FOR THIS ONE. | 2008/01/30

Hi Green Eyes.

I am a 21 year old male, i am exactly like you when it comes to my girlfriend. Just in my situation there is no ex involved. I am also extremely jealous. We have had so many arguments about it but i cannot help it. its not that i dont stust her, I DO 100%!!!!!
My problem is that i dont like other guyes trying their luck with her, i am very insecure and i hate myself for it, i always ask myself why am i feeling like this, why and i doing the things that i do, ie: getting so angry when other guyes come and chat to her. she has never ever given me reason to be jealous like flirting with oter guyes or anything she is very commited to me. I know that by me being jealous it makes her feel like i dont trust her and i have tried to explain myself many times.

It is one of my new year sollutions is to try and get over this jealousy, so far it has been going good, there has been a couple of occations where i could not help it but i truly and trying my best, she has even complimented me and said that she could see a difference she says she can see a difference.

So green eyes i dont have any advise because i am in the same boat as you, just wanted to say that you are not alone.

Let me know how it goes.

Reply to ANON FOR THIS ONE.
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/01/30

tha's B...*st

what are exe'x doing in the relationship, tell him to leave the pasts in the pasts if really there is nothing between them ask him if u wre to do the same thing he is doing how will he feel, he must put himself in your shoes and stop being selfish.

Reply to Lolo

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