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Posted by: NLM | 2004/10/29

JEALOUS WIFE ( POSTING 12138 )

FIRSTLY I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EACH AND EVERY PERSON WHO CONTRIBUTED TO MY POSTING ON 27/10/2004 . I ASKED FOR POSITIVE REMARKS AND THAT IS WHAT I GOT.
SPECIAL THANKS TO SHAUN, SNOOKS, KABOUSLOVE, THE JEALOUS WIFE AND OF COURSE CYBERSHRINK HIMSELF.

JUST WOULD LIKE TO SAY 2 THINGS===YES, WE WENT FOR COUNCELLING TO A LADY WHO STAYS AT SILVER LAKES WHO COUNCILS ON THESE ISSUES. SECONDLY, I GOT MY WIFE TO COME AND WORK FOR ONE OF MY COMPANIES, BUT O HELL, WHAT A MISTAKE. A JEALIOUS WIFE CAN NEVER EVER WORK WITH HER HUSBAND.

THEN SHAUN, I APPRECIATED YOUR INPUT QUITE A BIT. I DID NOT FIND IT NEGATIVE AT ALL. AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU APPROACHED THE ISSUE FROM ANOTHER ANGLE AND I FOUND IT VERY POSITIVE.

THE ONLY THING I COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND, IS THAT I NEVER EVER GAVE HER REASON TO BE JEALIOUS, EXCEPT IF I DID APPOINT A BEAUTIFULL AND SEXY WOMAN SHE FEELS THREATENED ABOUT, BUT I CAN SAY ONETHING , AND THAT IS THAT I DO APPOINTMENTS ACCORDING TO SKILL AND NOT LOOKS. I EVEN CONSIDER ATTITUDE AND EXPERIENCE ABOVE QUALIFICATIONS. LOOKS ARE NO FACTOR.

LASTLY, I HAVE TO SAY THAT I'M PROBABLY A FAILURE IN THIS RESPECT, BECAUSE I HAVE MOVED OUT YESTERDAY. IT WAS LIKE ARRIVING IN HEAVEN WHEN I GOT TO MY NEW HOME AND I COULD JUST RELAX AND PUT MY FEET UP.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

NLM< hope you continue to work your way through this. Some people just have, unfortunately, a natural talent for jealousy, and need no contribution or assistance on your part, to enable them to achieve great peaks of jealousy.
Glad to hear that your new home feels heavenly --- you thoroughly deserve that ! And what a set of excllent examples from other readers !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Julia | 2004/10/29

Something that I built my relationship on:

WITHOUT TRUST YOU CAN'T HAVE RESPECT, WITHOUT RESPECT YOU CAN'T HAVE LOVE!!!!!!!

TRL!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Julia
Posted by: Julie | 2004/10/29

Hi. Im glad to hear that you are moving on. I happen to be in a similar predicument. But, I fear to destroy my childrens home for the second time. so I will hang in there a bit longer. Hoping he gets help and will change.

Heres a few thoughts to think about on your holiday.

Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people."

"Trust lies at the core of love; there can be no true love without trust."

Life without trust is a life in turmoil

Enjoy your Holiday, Hope you sort out everything !

Reply to Julie
Posted by: NLM | 2004/10/29

THANKS LADY NINA & SHAUN, VERY NICE TO KNOW THERE ARE MATURED PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO CAN RELATE. I MUST COMPLIMENT YOU SHAUN, YOU SPEAK LIKE A PERSON THAT HAS A WORLD FULL OF EXPERIENCE.

JUST TO REALLY WIND DOWN I HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE MY CARAVAN ( JURGENS EXCLUSIVE DOUBLE AXLE ) AND MAKE OF TO A HOLIDAY RESORT IN THE AREA. I KNOW MANY PEOPLE THERE WILL LOOK AT ME AND THINK==POOR SINGLE ASHOLE=== BUT WHAT THEY WILL NOT KNOW, IS THAT I AM A HAPPY " SINGLE " ASHOLE.

HAVE A GREAT WEEK END

Reply to NLM
Posted by: Snooks | 2004/10/29

Jaloesie is afterall 'n siekte en party kan maar net nie genees word daarvan nie.

Dit is dalk goed dat jy uitgetrek het miskien maak dit jou vrou so oë oop en sy besef dalk wat sy eintlik aan julle huwelik doen! Julle altwee gaan nou tyd hê om te dink en dinge in perspektief te sien!

En ek is bly om te sien jy het haar nie rede gegee om jaloers te wees nie. Want dit is gewoonlik die vraag wat mens wil vra.

Sterkte!

Reply to Snooks
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/10/29

Hi NLM,

Don't even think that you're a failure! You see, sometimes we all need that private personal time. It does help make a difference. It sometimes even makes you realise the value of certain things in your life. So use it to the best of your advantage. Hey, for all you know it might even make her realise how her jealousy is affecting you, but you must thru all the allegations remain calm & stick to your open & honestness about her accusations.
You don't have to give reason sometimes for someone to become jealous, sometimes it may just be the smallest thing you do without even realising it, & the person that gets jealous miscontrues your intention, or action, that happens.
I would say, ideally, individual counselling may play a part in the shrink getting each perspective, then bringing you guys together for combined therapy. That's my opinion NLM.
Yeah, maybe bringing her to work with you might have been a mistake coz then in her own way she was allowed to see you work & have more ammo, coz it seems thats what she was looking for. She may only be ready to work with you once she gets a hold of her jealous reactions.
The feeling of inferiority manifests in many different ways, & as people are all different from each other, we all react differently to any specific situation. There could be a lot of things she might be wanting/needing/looking for, & could very possibly be going about trying to find these things in the wrong way.

NLM, I think you should take solace in the fact that you have taken steps to try & correct or work thru this, I really feel she has to realise her behaviour & come to the party. She must on her own realise what she is doing, and then too, she must want to make the situation better. There mught still be a lot of arguments & blame thrown around, but I think maybe you should bear this in mind. In a way, you guys will have to go thru it, to get over it... Just know, if it eventually does work out, your relationship will be much stronger. But do your utmost best so you don't leave with regrets.

Hang in there, if you still want to. Be straight-forward, open & honest, always. Don't allow the conversations to get sidetracked with allegations & accusations. Keep your communication channels open.

I do hope you work thru this as I feel that you care quite a bit for this woman or you wouldn't have went thru all this already, or even try to find a remedy for this situation.

Thank you so much for your feedback NLM, & your kind words. If ever I offend, don't be shy to say so.

Have a great weekend unwinding in your new home... for a while at least.

Cheers,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/10/29

hi there

good for you - this should get her to do some soul searching ...

i know all about that " heavenly experience " of coming home to a peaceful home and i was quite shocked when my sister called me today and asked if they could stay over at my place
( a very humble home according to the rest of my amilies standards i might add) with their next visit since my place is so peaceful - it was a wow for me !

take care and enjoy the peace and i really hope your wife deals with the issues in her life effectively so you can get back together again

nina

Reply to lady nina

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