Posted by: JORDON | 2004/11/23

Jealous of pregnancy in others

Hi there,

I have been TTc for the past 2 years. At the moment I have 2 ladies and 1 guy whose wife is preggies all working with me. It is so hard to be all happy and excited for every new development in their lives.
How do I handle this situation? I want to scream every time I hear them talking about their "bundles of joy".
It is not possible to avoid them as we all work in one office.

Please help!

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Our expert says:
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Actually, Jordon, thats a rather good question. People can indeed get so wrapped up in their own wholesome pleasure at procreating, that they forget that their personal little bundles aren't compulsorily a joy to absolutely everyone else. especially to people who are having difficulty achieving a wanted but elusive pregnancy ; people who have had a miscarriage, and others. And the bad-taste jokes, such as you describe towards your hubby, about people who through no fault whatsoever of their own, are not as fertile as others, are simply cruel and atrocious bad manners.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/23

I bet you will fall pg when you least expect it, after a year of trying, i started thinking that i dont really want another child, and was considering going back on the pill, and it suddenly happened. That, and i was dizzy all the time, so the doc gave me lotsa vitamins, minamino (something like that) most probably boost my system so much, i fell pg. Unfortanately falling pg is very much natures choice, but yes, at 25 i'm sure nothing is wrong with you, just your timing thats a bit out.... How old is your hubby? Half my problem was that my hubby was over 40, at wich age a mans sperm count drasticlly reduces.

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Jordon | 2004/11/23

If you only knew! I am currently on meds and have monthly blood tests done to check my levels etc.

Only one or two people at work know about the fact that I am having such difficulty (its not exactly something that I want everyone to know!), so i have to smile and bear it. Some days its fine and other days it just hits me "i am 25 years old (too young to have something wrong, surely" and yet it feels as if everyone else has to have s*x ONCE and they are pregnant.

Since I have been married for a while now (almost 4 years) people I don't even know are starting to ask when we are going to start a family. B4 i would shrug and laugh it off, it has become more difficult to do though...When someone asks me I just wanna cry! I know that it is affecting hubby too, he is the only married one at work that does not have any kids, and the jokes about him 'shooting blanks' are starting to bug him BIG time.

Sorry, I know that you did not exactly ask for my whole life story...its just good to let it out once in a while..


Reply to Jordon
Posted by: Mona | 2004/11/23

Shame, i can imagine how you are feeling. I was ttc for 1 year, when i eventually fell pg, and yes, it was horrible to see other people fall pg before you. Just hang in there, your turn will come! If they were true friends they would understand your position, and not rub it in your face. Have you been to the gynae to have test done?

Reply to Mona

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