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Question
Posted by: Ronny | 2005/12/02

Jealous husband

I have been married for 8 years and have two kids age 6 and 4. Since I'm married, I am not allow to have any friends or even go out with friends. I have therefore lost all contact with my old friends. At one time he found out that I was busy chatting with my old school friend whom I know for 29 years who live abroad, he choked me and left marks in my neck. This is one of the examples I'm using. I then told him that it will be better if we separate, he then said that he will strike a match and burn me out whilst choking me. I am afraid of making the wrong move cause I don't know what the result will be. Please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Married or not, you're allowed to have friends and to see them --- if your husband doesn't "allow" that, he is being abusive. And potentially dangerous. Call POWA ( in the phone book ) for a detailed discussion of your options, including planning a safe way to leave the creep and get a court order preventing him from any further attempts to abuse or disturb you. POWA can help you explore alternative sae places you and the children could go to --- their going to school next year is no reason to stay with such a rat --- they will be far better off away from him.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ronny | 2005/12/02

My family lives in another destination; about +-1000km away from me. I have no transport. My kids are starting school next year. I feel that my world is falling apart, cause of no support I'm getting. I can't speak to me work collegues about this. I feel like I can do something really bad to my husband for causing this to me.

Reply to Ronny
Posted by: Shocked | 2005/12/02

Its a clear cut case of abuse. First, you need to get out. Make sure you are not alone when you do it. Move all your stuff out and go stay with a family member or somebody you trust. Get a restraining order immediately! Even if you don't want to press charges, this should let him know that you mean business. Then, file for divorce. There is NO excuse for what he has done and you should dump his ass before he does it again...or worse, abuses your kids!

Reply to Shocked
Posted by: VM | 2005/12/02

Its an organisation called People Opposing Woman Abuse. Theyare fantastic, help with safe houses, getting the woman and her family out safely, and back on their feet.

Their number is: 011 642 4345/6

Reply to VM
Posted by: Nina | 2005/12/02

Get out of this dog's life, he's not worthy of you, he doesnt love you and he's treating you like a slave. I too was in a relationp like yours for 2 years and i have finally gathered the strength to leave the abusive so called boyfriend, do yourself a favor and leave this unfriendly situation you are in, it will only get worse and the scarce will get deeper, how do u love a person who inflicts fear on you?

Leave him, dont even suggest councelling for him, go to a private counsellor and work on a plan of leaving this monster. You will feel lonely at first and you will miss the good times that you have once shared, but you will doing good for your self esteem, leave him and regain your self esteem, focus on rebuilding youself and look after your kids.

Reply to Nina
Posted by: Ronny | 2005/12/02

I am very scared, thats I why I need to know what to do and what is POWA.

Reply to Ronny
Posted by: VM | 2005/12/02

This is abuse, not jealousy, are you not scared of what this man might be capable of? What if he gets mad at your kids one day?

I would suggest calling POWA, they will be able to help you with advice and an action plan to get you and your children out safely.

Reply to VM

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