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Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/01

Jakes - Baggage??

Hi again Jakes. My dear sweet man, we all have baggage of some sort or another. That is why we are here on this site, to help each other and get help when needed. But it is nice when you can connect with someone on a one on one basis and just chat. I know. Sometimes you can say things that you would not normally put on the forum and the friend on the other side has the ability to lift you up. Tango has helped me in the past when I went through a bit of a bumpy patch, and so have a few others, out of the forum format. It is wonderful to have friends who care and can at least understand what you are on about. Family can sometimes be more a hinderence than a help and sometimes just plain useless.

Please don't feel that you are not worthy of anyone's friendship, because you are. I would be privileged indeed to considered your friend, pouting and stomping and all!! :-)

Did you get my suggestion about hiring a boat on the Knysna Lagoon?

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Our expert says:
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While on holiday, J, do remember to concentrate on who IS there, and not on who isn't

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/01

Buzz, Oh the pajama days...those are the best!!!!

I do it often though...LOL
I like 'em


I'm pretty good at doing nothing at times.....

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/01

Lady Nina, very well put. Seeking out the oppertunities and looking at life with a positive attitude is all that counts.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: Buzz | 2005/12/01

But I told you so Delene! If you're lonely, go to your local bookstore, have a cuppa and page through the books. Before you know it, a few hours would have lapsed. Or a movie? Or just stay in your pyjamas the whole day - when last did you do that?

Jakes, I agree with Frusty. You are worth far more than you give yourself credit for.

Reply to Buzz
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/12/01

hi there

i as caught in my marriage for a long time after it "sell by" date just becuase of my fear of being alone - today i'm so glad i took the step - i've made so many new friends and have a very full life - x mas day without the girls will be tough but i survive

there is a big diffrence between being alone and loneliness
alone is not an option but loneliness is a choice and a attitude - i think....

overcome your fear - allow your courage to be bigger than your fear

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/01

Jakes, you made me laugh again. My poor puppy does not know why I keep laughing! Have you been making notes? Yes, you are spot on.

Delene, you are coping so well. Keep it up.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/01

Frusty:

"Long honey blonde hair into my waist and typical Italian complexion. Very dark, almost black eyes. Short!"

Just had to be red!

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/01

jakes.
a week ago i was in a frantic cuz hubby is going overseas for 2 weeks.
that word...ALONE
i mean, like you say, only that much you can share with kids.

Its been a week now...and may i say, it hasnt been bad at all.
ive learnt a few things about myself

Tomorrow the kids are going to their dad...then its me & me
How much can I say to myself?..LOL
I'm scared, but i'm sure even in this next 6 days i will descover more things about myself....do things i probably would never have dun otherwize.
sumtimes "Alone" is not such a bad thing afterall.

Reply to Delene
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/01

Jakes, you really make me laugh! I wasn't cross at all. And how did you know I wear red lipstick?????

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/12/01

hi

sorry for my terrible spelling - but doing 3 things at one time and not having a auto spell check, i make more than my normal amount to spelling mistakes today

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/12/01

hi frusty

i didn't even think of you - but i know we have more "needy ladies" around this forum than "needy" men - i didn't even think of anyone specific

jakes, how about reading a nice book?
the lads are sure to pick up some girls so rather go prepared
you won't be the only "single" guy there and might even enjoy being alone - i belief there is a purpose for everythign and we should use the opportunity and not fight it

maybe you need this time alone to clear your mind, see that there is more in live that marriage, maybe from a diffrent viewing piont you might experience something new - don't fear the new things that await you... the fear of being alone and loneiness gets us in big problems

take care

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/01

Some red lipstick and a good pout Frusty - don't throw all the toys out.

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Tango | 2005/12/01

Let me know if you can read it - otherwise will just fire up the old carrier pigeon on my window ledge getting fatter by the day!!!!

Reply to Tango
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/01

Well said, Tango. As I keep saying, friends are the best. Got your mail, but having problems with my e-mail site!! Blast!

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/01

Jakes, just think, if they meet some girls along the way, these girls will undoubtedly have parents which gives you the oppertunity to meet new people. Positive spin on everything.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: Tango | 2005/12/01

Hi Frusty - I have just managed to copy and paste my mail to you!

For me at my age and stage I treasure good honest friendship. Thats my focus and starting point. I do not enter into relationships thinking "Oh my gosh.......is this the one!!" I stopped that years ago as it was so silly and futile.
It puts unnecessary pressure on people and of course buils up unrealistic expectations as well!

Reply to Tango
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/01

Yes, thank you. Last time I was out there H was one year old. He has just turned 17. We took the train (Tootsie I think it was) from Mosselbay to Knysna and a boat trip to the Heads. Was very nice including lunch on train. Advantage is that you don't have to drive and can also enjoy the scenery past Wilderness etc. But it will still be just us. There is just so much u can experience and share with 2 tall guys. And what if (and I am sure they will because the are handsome lads) they discover some girlfriends along the way?

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: VM | 2005/12/01

From what I have read here on the forum, you sound fantastic, you have been through a lot this year, and one can never have to many friends.

I also think you and Tango sound like a good match :=)

Reply to VM
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/01

Oh Lady Nina, I was not suggesting anything other than friendship, and I think he knows that! I am married. But it is ALWAYS good to have friends. Someone to just listen when you feel like a good moan, or to pick you up when you are feeling down and also to return the favour.

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/12/01

hi there

i think there is quite a couiple of ladies who would jump at the oportunity to comfort jakes and be a friend and much more infact

but jakes is a decent and mature guy who knows where to draw the line ....

i went on a boat on the lagoon in sept - the "waves" was so beautiful and clear i took about 20 photo's - believing each one was more special than next

take care nina

Reply to lady nina

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