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Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/12/23

Jabbering - Don't want to be at work

Hi all,
I know, I know, I have just been away for 5 weeks, not a holiday though but sincerely don't want to be here, this time of year is not a time to be working. I don't have much to do either which is boring me to tears. Everything I did before I left to satisfy these people, spliting up of my spreadsheet has now again been combined, I wish they would make up their damned minds. I don't see the value in doing anything. I am still waiting for the other company to give me feedback but not even sure I want to work there, it feels as though I am not capable of performing at work anymore and I don't want to. Am I going bonkers or am I already?

Mumbling here a bit and moaning. This morning all that went through my mind was being in an accident, I saw my car written off, both my legs broken and internal injuries, all in my mind, why? Subconciously I think it is because I don't want to work anymore, but I am too young still to give up.

Thanks for listening.
Take Care.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Noticed any recent messages from people really adoring the experience of being at work at this odd period of the year ? Yes, you're far too young to give up, and won;t need to. You will come out on top, maybe sooner than you expect

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/12/23

Why the cake. You lucky thing, I have to be here the whole season, suppose I can't complain, had 5 weeks of a break, sort of. Rehab ain't exactly a holiday, too many emotions. Enjyo the cake and have a good party. May Christmas be special.

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: Jano | 2004/12/23

You can say that agian at least its almost over I only have to be at the office to bring cake for every body 2morow and then I can party.

Reply to Jano
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/12/23

Hi Jano,
Not me, watch out for the white car that skims around corners and races everywhere. It does seem like a good idea but worried about the pain part.
Pity we have to work, no rest for the wicked.

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: Jano | 2004/12/23

Are you the mad woman in the blue car that skipped the stop this moring and almost killed my BMW I also through of the accident thing seemed like a great way to get off ork for the next 2 weeks.

Reply to Jano
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/12/23

Thanks for the reply. So far relationship is a safe haven however the home is a bit risky still but will do. This time of year is sad somehow, I think it is because of family issues and you've had plenty of your own, take it easy and enjoy the tree, it does tend to brighten things up.

My little girl is my angel and she brightens my days although haven't seen much of her due to hospitalisation, she was with my sister and seems to want to be there but we had fun the other night and am looking forward to having her around more. Btw she had a great report, 12 Outstanding and 3 Achieved.

Hope this Christmas is more pleasant for you, my family always has an argument and they all drink, so going to be tough but will hold it together. You have a good one and take care.

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: lulu | 2004/12/23

I'm very glad to hear this. (o: You'll be just fine, I'm sure of it. I'll hold thumbs for the not drinking thing. You realise it's pulling you backwards in your progress, so I'm sure you'll do your damndest not to do it, won't you?

Sounds like this shrink you have now is really Dr Right. I hope so and I'll be thinking of you. It's a hard road, but you've come so far already. You're right. One cannot run away from life. Why not try and make your home and relationship your "safe place"? Amazing what that could do for you. I did just that, and it was a huge part in my "recovery".

Sorry to hear about the unpaid leave bit. Not so nice of your employer, was it? )o: Anyway, you'll get through that too. Festive season is bankrupting most of us. (o; Sometimes I feel like I've had a pay cut!

I'm doing just great, thanks for asking. Been struggling a little because of the whole Christmas season thing. I hate it and have never been able to deal with it, dunno why. All my family upsets the last couple of months makes it so much worse for me somehow this year...

I have a stunning Christmas tree though, and it cheers me up plenty. hehe It's a big tree with optical fibres, and I've decorated it with 58 delicate glass angels and gold "angel hair". It looks absolutely gorgeous, if I may say so myself. (o:

Reply to lulu
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/12/23

Hi Lulu,
Thanks....
The 5 weeks were quite a process, apparently didn't make too much progress in the first 3 weeks thus requested that I stay another 2 weeks. I am slowly coming to terms with things, still a long way to go, but have made some major breakthroughs. One good thing as well, I won't be drinking anymore, not promising that won't ever again but I don't want to, so holding thumbs that don't slip. Had to demonstrate my life story in pictures, it is amazing what one can find, I had one girl in tears and others wondering why they have problems, but I told them that each person experiences problems in their own way and each persons can be tough for them. I have obviously managed to get through a lot although not coping that well anymore, but will again. The only issue I still have with this is that I still did not show any emotions regarding these issues. Other problems had me in tears though, thus had to get rid of cell in last two weeks. The info my psychologist is getting from my test is amazingly accurate and everything stems from my childhood it seems and I hope I can come to terms with this, my ultimate aim on these tests is death, self destruction and destroying relationships, thus need to work hard not to do this anymore.

I feel like I want to run back, it was so safe, but one can't run away from life.

Am working throughout the festive season, had to take unpaid leave, I had exhausted my sick leave already. Has had a major effect on the finances, but will work through this and come out on top hopefully, tough one though.

How are you doing?

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: lulu | 2004/12/23

Good to see you back, BT. (o:

Was it worth it? Did the 5 weeks help you to get rid of some of your demons?

I was thinking of you alot the last few weeks, don't know why...

Are you working throughout the festive season, seeing you were off for so long? Wasn't it sick leave though?

Reply to lulu
Posted by: Angel | 2004/12/23

I'll be back the 3rd Jan not a long break but this year had a lot of twists and turns and it really took alot out of me at least it is 10days :)

I just spoke to my boss and we are all having breakfast at 9 and he said I could leave after that great hey :)

I want to leave a.s.a.p I think the roads r going to b busy we r not going to drive along way from home I stay in Pretoria an we r going to the Carousel Casino for a few days me my mom and aunt.

This time of the year is a very hard time for us as my brother passed away 3 years ago but he was the baby in the house my cousin (my aunt going with us's son) also died with my brother so I'm taking her with us as she has no one else.

So you c the best way to face lifes difficulties is to stand up hold your head up high and be thnakfull for everything every little thing in life :) and dont forget to tell those you love that u love them as we are not in control of our lives :)

Will think of you and remember keep up that chin :)

Angel

Reply to Angel
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2004/12/23

Thanks Angel. I know you are right, will be trying my damndest. Hope you have a wonderful break, enjoy and also have a great christmas and new year. Drive safe in driving and take care. Speak to you when you are back, btw, when is that?

Reply to Beyond Tired
Posted by: Angel | 2004/12/23

Hi There,

Give yourself a break go outside have a nice cup of coffee/tea (I smoke so I'll have a smoke) take some deep breaths and say I will be fine !!!!!

I also feel the way u do lucky 4 me this is my last day at work and will be leaving for my well deserved rest.

This time of year nobody but nobody wants to b at work so don't feel alone just get your mindset wright and think positive thoughts :)

Have a great christmas and lovely new year look after yourself and I hope I will be chatting to you once I'm back at the office.

Angel

Reply to Angel

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