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Question
Posted by: broken | 2005/12/09

It never goes away

2 months down the line and still the questions about why and how she just left me run through my head. The memories are still so fresh and the pain is never ending. I can't let go or move on. She has become a part of me and the pain never goes away. Everything she said keeps spinning in my head and leaves me perpetually feeling like I have been punched in the stomach. My heart hurts so much. Why? Why? She took the best of me and I can't seem to find my way back. I have so much to be happy for and yet all I can focus on is this pain. I'm literary broken.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I challenge this common assertion that "I can't move on", Take responsibility for your decisions. You haven't yet chosen to allow yourself to move on. And distract yourself --- when thoughts of her enter your head, swat them away like annoying flies, and get busy with other work, other recreation, other people.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: broken | 2005/12/09

Thank you. I already understand why she did it and that we were not meant to be as I can see in hindsight why it was so wrong but yet she shocked me and I can't seem to get over that. And yes, I want her to feel the pain, to acknowledge what she has done. I will do my best to move on. Thank you again for your support.

Reply to broken
Posted by: Pencil | 2005/12/09

broken, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.
i can relate totally. BUT you need to believe us when we say that it's going to get better.
i know the feeling of wanting, wishing, praying, crying, pretending, struggling, fighting with yourself, crying, hoping, wishing, wondering, being totally miserable, struggling...and then doing everything all over again..

it takes time. it's going to feel that it's taking too long. but it IS GOING TO GET BETTER.

trust yourself, your feelings, go through it - look after yourself and try to stay realistic and as CS says, make decisions about moving on - go through the process of picking yourself and your broken heart up again - and LIVE again.

yes, you CAN do it...

Reply to Pencil
Posted by: Just me | 2005/12/09

Hi Broken,

You sound exactly like I did about 8 months ago.
I posted something similar on this forum and at the time couldn’t believe that life could go on without my ex.
Although he was emotionally abusive to me, I “thought” I was in love with him…
I soon realised that I fell in love with the “concept of having someone”.. Nevertheless, I was hurting sooo much, I paryed that he would come back to me and that life could go on as usual… It was not to be….
It took time for me to see the light…… He is no longer around to hurt me..….He never loved me, but used me for his convenience…
Allow yourself to love and be loved again…..Don’t give up hope…There IS someone out there who is meant for you….It sounds strange now, while you’re hurting…but soon you will meet someone and you will find that you think less and less of your ex….
I have found someone since then, and I could not be happier…. You will too……

All the best

Reply to Just me
Posted by: SR | 2005/12/09

Straycat = right first time .... there are thousands and thousands of potentials out there ..... wont be the same as the last but then a new foundation on which to build from

Reply to SR
Posted by: Straycat | 2005/12/09

There's lots of chicks out there bru!...Go out and have some fun!..u never know what could happen..

Reply to Straycat
Posted by: Kate | 2005/12/09

I know how you feel. When my ex left I struggled for a very long time with the Q of HOW could he just stop loving me, after everything we went through, and the truth is he just did. It made me wonder if he ever loved me at all. Now in retrospect I am so glad he did (part of me still misses him at times) but I know that being in a relationship with him was not what was meant to be.

Reply to Kate
Posted by: twink | 2005/12/09

wise words dude...

Reply to twink
Posted by: Dude | 2005/12/09

she left uz... ow did she leave, did she take uz computer? maybe uz car... wots the best of uz anyway... ma best uzed 2 b a toss up between ma tongue an ma dong ... now iz know its ma dong an thats attached , anyone tries 2 take it away is an enemy .... ur dong is still with uz basically an that's wot really matters mate!

Reply to Dude
Posted by: CP Mom | 2005/12/09

Many moons ago CS said to someone that it takes about 9 months (longer for some) to get "OVER" someone. Your wounds are still very, very shallow and the eina will be there for a long time still.

It is not going to help you right now BUT I can promise you it does get better. I once loved like you won't believe! He was my all. My 1st thought in the morning my last thought at night.

One day I realized I got through the morning before I thought of him...and one day the whole day...then a week.

It takes time and only time can help.

Some do as Elizabeth Tayler and it works for them: "the only way to get over someone is to get under another"

All of the best and just try to get through each day one by one.

Love Mom

Reply to CP Mom

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