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Question
Posted by: cindie | 2008/01/24

issues with younger sista

my younger sista is helpful around the house and now we stay together in a bachelor flat. she is doing some short courses in administration and im paying for her cos our parents are not working

when she moved in we discussed and both agreed on the house rules so that we can have a pleasant stay.

however, i see that she does not keep some of the rules. eg: after combing her hair she dioes not take out the hair and i have to remind her. now i have decided that month end i must give her money so that she can buy her own comb.

and the other problem is the TV noise. after work i am so stressed and i need a relaxing and quiet environment to de-stress. sometimes i need to lie down cos of the mild headache. but this is not possible because of the noise from TV.

we spoke that the noise and she would turn down the volume and later it goes up again. now, i do not want to irritate her by complaining all the time but im thinking of moving the TV to the kitchen. would i be wrong by doing this?

she attends her class only once a week and sometimes on saturdays. so she spends her time watching tv day and nite, until 22h00.

the kitchen is small but i think it will be the best option. she is 20yrs and im 30yrs.

please advice

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Our expert says:
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Sit down and have a calm discussion with her about modifying the rules so as to suit you ( it's your home and you are paying for it, she is the guest there.). Surely if she wants to go ahead she should either take up more full-time studies ( mocne a week is a very minor course ) or get herself a job as well, which will both earn her money ( she can then take over paying for her courses ) and let her practice and gain real experience in administration and work. Just sitting round watching TV at her sister's expense, is not going to get her anywhere in life, except to teach her to be lazy and to sponge off others.

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