Posted by: CHEGO | 2008/12/01

Issues with my mother


I' m 24 i have 3 siblings and our father passed away in 2005. We lived with our grandfather (my father' s dad) and in his house. I have a problem with my mother, we don' t speak to each other. I have a baby she' s 6 months now but she doesn' t know my baby. The problem started few years ago when i was staying with her, she used to be aggresive torwads me, jalous and heartless towards me and my siblings.

i used to be bread winner, she never buy anything for the children, from food to cosmetics. I was the one who buy groceries and stuff and she always say she going to pay other important accounts of hers, and she earned My grafather' s pension (her father-in-law) and my younger brother' s grant and her salary on top.

she always treated me like i don' t exist, calling me names, when i visited friends she' ll shout at me like a child. luckily i find job far from her and i moved out. She started dating and wearing some nusty clothes, shout at my sister (second born) calling her names same way she did to me. That time she wasn' t mantaining children i sent money every month to buy food, she wanted the money.

I took my sister and she now live with me. She is a liar telling people around neibourhood that we ran from home because i find the best job. She never paid my school fees, but she' s telling people that she made some huge debt sacrificed for me to go to school. She bad mouthing about her in-laws, because they helped me during my pregnancy and child delivery and she were' nt there. she even tried to allow her boyfriend into our home. please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If she has a salary from her own work, and takes other people's grants --- why would you need to send her any money ? If its practical for you to visit your brothwer and grandfather without getting involved with nasty mom, that may be fair, as apparently there's nothing wrong with your relationships with them. I don't believe that your late father would want you to be miserable or to encourage her to be unpleasant to you or others

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Zuzi | 2008/12/02


Cut her from ur life, visit your grandfather and ignore her I was also in situation where my selfish mom made my life miserable I ve cut her off and I am happy with my kids and husband.

Reply to Zuzi
Posted by: CHEGO | 2008/12/02

Hi again,

I never sent her money, i sent my siblings using my younger sister' s account. Beacause she never buy anything for them including my grandad, so i felt sorry for them because everytime they call me and tell me about her attitude and her lieswhen she got the money/ salary. So, i was a mother to them and a parent, because she never there for them and to listen for what they want or what was happening around them or even pay the school bills and accounts. She' ll just tell people that she' s supporitng and maintaining her children, and inreturn her children her children don' t respect her. Can you believe that oneday she even called me a B**** wanted to pour me with boiling water, luckily i ran outside.

Reply to CHEGO
Posted by: CHEGO | 2008/12/02

Hi CS,

Thanks for the reply, yes i' ve cut her out of my life. I don' t phone her but she tried to phone me some time ago and she sounds as she regret all the things she did to us, not directly, she uses the illness to make us feel sorry for her were' s she is not sick. Now its Christmas time and i don' t know if i should go just to see my granddad and my younger brother. Some time i feel like my father where ever he is he' s not happy with the way things are and for us leaving our home because of my horrible mother. I don' t know CS, i need you to advice me on that one.

Thank you.

Reply to CHEGO
Posted by: Tookie | 2008/12/02

I am sorry to hear that your relationship with your mother is this way. It sounds as if she has control issues - in fact she has many issues. Have you considered cutting her out of your life? Seems to me as if you have been trying to make her happy for a long time but she is not greatful. Good luck

Reply to Tookie

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